I Am Me (Book One): Weakness

Chapter 4: Your Mystery

Mark's POV

What. The. Absolute. Hell. What the hell was that? I am so confused and, if I'm honest, a little pissed. Not at the boy. I....didn't know what to make of him....Anyways, Im pissed at my reaction. Yes, everyone fell for-whatever that was, but I am trying to be better than that. Better than everyone at this whole self-control, yet the minute some rando comes in and starts barking orders, I fold like paper. I don't want to bother opening back up either. Stupid Omega instinct. I will fix this, I will fix me. 

It's lunch time, the cafeteria is filled with speculation on who the alpha heir is and everyone who heard about what happened in the hall are talking about the mysterious....Beta? His smell is weird. You catch the whiff of Beta all over him, but his authority speaks of something more that no one could put their finger on. We've never seen him at the pack gatherings and there has been no reports of him attending pack meetings. If I didn't know better, I would've jumped the gun and said he is an Omega, hiding behind the scent of a Beta. Like me...but he isn't like me. No Omega has that authority unless they are the Luna, and the Luna is clearly still alive and well, and no announcement was made in a High School Luna taking her place. Wouldn't hat make headlines, huh? 

Oh well, no more talk. Only food! Or so my wolf thinks. I can't argue with him though. Not only does he represent are animal desires and instinct, the raw emotion and wishes we fight so hard to control with our human halves, but I am starving. If I'm gonna keep this shape, I'm gonna need my good. Before I can take a bite though, Katrina walks up and gives me a surprise hug from behind that ends with my grilled cheese on the floor.' Why must bad things happen to god wolves?' My wolf thinks as we sadly watch the ants claim our lunch.

"Hey baby! I've been looking all over for ya, ever since we last saw each other", she cheerfully says. I'm not fooled though. She is nervous, most likely due to  the fact that I've been avoiding her. Not purposefully either.its my wolf. It has no clue what's going on either, but for some reason, that Betas words dominate his actions.....my actions. We are so quick to blame our wolves for their instinct, but the reality is that these are not separate beings, making it silly that we refer to them as if they are. As if they can make choices independent of us. Like I said, they are raw unfiltered emotion and desire we feel. Because of this conclusion made, we no longer name our wolves like we used to. Yet, still, there has to be some individuality that separates our wolves from us right? I mean, their way of acting totally contradicts who we are. Some of the most shyest wolves come from the most assertive people. And most dominating wolves come from the intensely reserved humans. Then there are wolves like mine. Where I try to be mature and self-assures, my wolf is childishly playful and begs for reassurance. It's perplexing!

"Mark!"

Huh? Oh. I got lost in my thoughts. "Sorry, babe. I've been thinking a lot lately. Um, what was it you wanted?", I say sheepishly.

"I was wondering if you wanted to spend a little quality time with your little ol' beauty, who just loves to be in your company. Just come over and relax on the couch, eating popcorn, and watching our favorite movies to make fun of", she says dreamily. That actually does sound nice. It has been a while since I gone on a date with Katrina. It's mostly been quick meet-ups for me to expel any stress. Granted, the feelings after are a mixed bag, but the activities that go on during are just- whoa, okay, no time for that Mark Jr.

"Sure, I'd love to come over", I say happily. She has a smug look on her face. She clearly knew what I was thinking about and that makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd ask if there was no privacy, but my inability to keep a poker face is not something anyone but me could do about. 

"Okay, baby! I promise, this will be just what we need. Say we meet at.....5 tomorrow?", she says after some deliberation. 

"Sure", I respond. This is nice. I get to spend time with my favorite girl and get to forget about the unmentioned and confusing feelings a certain boy brings out in me. I'll have to deal with that later. For now, it's just me and lovely Katrina.