I Am Me (Book One): Weakness

Chapter 9: Your Confrontation

Isaiah's POV

He's still there, isn't he? 

'Yup' my wolf answers. 'Should have expected this. He's of age and new to the obsessive sensations of a mate. You can feel the want in his pheromones that are pouring out from him. He doesn't realize it, but is trying to get our attention.'

Little does he know that he already has it. Ok, right. So, my class is the other way, away from him, so-

'So, class  can wait. You're stalling and I am getting antsy from it. If class is so important, then go on and make plans with him to meet up at lunch or after-school. You can't and won't hide forever. Not while I'm here', my wolf states. He's right, but I just don't want to face disappointment.

'His scent states he's feeling anything but disappointed. Or anything negative for that matter. I bet if we asked him directly what he thinks is he worst part of this situation, it's that you haven't claimed him here in the hallway in front of every wolf in sight', my wolf says in a  matter-of-fact way. 

"Baby!" 

Fantastic. The girlfriend is still there and with him still. Why do I even contemplate the idea of us together. He clearly wants to be with her, or else I'm positive more of the girls would have had tried a little harder to gain his attention from my point of view. I make a move to walk away, but a whimper stops me dead in my tracks. I did not expect that to come from him of all people. My wolf on the otherhand has as growl of approval ready for a response. That, I should've seen coming. Our wolves are greeting one another and, given his status hidden beneath is an Omega, I gotta say, it's pretty fascinating sensing them through our link as I watch the reforming of the Gamma's defenses go back into what it was before, returning his original mannerism as they are usually. 

"Ahem, hi. It's.....Isaiah, right?", he says with as much of cool and collected personality as he could. I still noticed that slight wistful tone under the shakiness of my name when he spoke it. This is nuts. I like it!

"Yeah. Carter isn't here right now, but you may catch him coming this way if you wait here", I say with as much nonchalance I can muster in my friendly tone. Oh god, I hope I'm doing it right. He's definitely aware of my wolf's interest, otherwise I'd have seen a sadness somewhere behind that facade. I'd know because I've watched him from afar for years. And..way to sound creepy, me. 

"Right, um, no I wasn't looking for Carter...exactly", he loses himself at the last word. This is not the guy who built this rock solid persona of the guy who has girls throwing themselves all on him. Where did he go? And how do I keep him there? The guy in front of me is more honest, true to his feelings. As if everything were right in his world by just being near me. At least that's the vibe I get from his wolf and his Human seems too wistful to hide the euphoria going on with his senses. Unfortunately for us, the bell rigs and I have to get to class, so I bid him good-bye, but he doesn't here me, so I smile and wave at him. I think there is still some part of him conscious of his surroundings because he responds with a small wave back, not taking that smile, nor taking his eyes off of me. 

How did I play that off? Normally, I'm a blundering full around him. 'Your welcome'. You may not have noticed, but I exerted a cool and collected atmosphere by quenching your anxiety, so that you can think clearly'. You can do that? Where the hell have you been this whole time in my life when o needed you? 'Watching a train wreck when I should have stepped in. Needless to say, through trial and error from watching you all those years, I learned what the most beneficial parts of you are. It isn't charisma, so I don't give confidence too much. It isn't your lax personality, because that doesn't exist in front of your mate. It's your calculative mind. As manipulative as it sounds, you can identify his mannerisms to the littlest detail, and that is what I focused on in my conversation with his wolf. I focused on the happy-go-lucky vibe. I looked entirely into the mind of his wolf that it allowed me to see. The way it's tail wagged, the way it walked around me, not in checking me out, but in showing itself off. The light yips, the nervous whimpers, the irritated huffs when I mention its humans lady friend. I was paying attention to it all, and you subconsciously mimicked my actions by noticing, even without looking, his mannerisms. His breathing, his way of speaking, everything.'

Wow. That...that is incredible. Your gonna be helping me gain my mate then?

'Correction: I'm gonna help you get your life in order, starting with gaining your mates attention. At this point though, as you are almost to our class, Mark will have snapped out of his daze completely and go in a panic'. Really? I peek out the door briefly to find Mark lost in his thoughts. He's going the wrong way, so either he is heading to the bathroom or he is so lost in thought he didn't even notice where he started to walk towards. Poor baby.

'Let him go through his internal crisis. Knowing how these closet cases go, it's gonna get complicated'. Come again? 'You read gay romance novels in your spare time. They are cliches for a reason! People go through this kind of thing everyday. Granted not to the ridiculous extent that some novels go in, but the point stays the same. We are terrible with change, so we panic, unless we are good with change, in which case we roll with the punches. Mark though has been in denial of his Omega status since he hit puberty. I'm not entirely sure why, but this will put him off to us. I just know it'. 

I'm gonna lose him, aren't I? 'Probably, at least initially. I don't know. It depends on how he handles himself and what his thought process is. Ready yourself for rejection, but don't close the door forever, that will drive him off. Just give him enough guilt to make it feel like he is making a mistake'. That doesn't sound nice at all. In fact, this emotional manipulation is the opposite of what I want. 'Everyone does it. If someone does something wrong, we make them confront what we believe is so wrong about their actions and hope to god they see what we mean. And in the same manner, we go skirting  the edge of our crushes attention just to gauge whether we will get hurt or not. It's a defense mechanism for survival. Manipulate the odds in your favor. You aren't doing it to be malicious and you aren't doing it to control their life. You just  are hoping that they respond favorably to you, otherwise, you will be able to tell whether it's worth it or not'.

I suppose that makes sense.

"Isaiah!", yells my teacher from behind. Ow. "I've been trying to get your attention for three minutes and I am at the end of my patience. Take a seat or leave my classroom! The bell has rung and you should've been in your seat ready to learn already!"

"Sorry! I will go to my seat!" Just please don't turn me stone with that glare. My god!