I Am Me (Book One): Weakness

Chapter 6: Your Instinct

Mark's POV

This is nice. Kissing is nice. Relaxing is nice. Everything is nice here, with my date. Katrina is really pretty and is absolutely perfect  girlfriend material. I didn't think I'd continue anything further than a night of passion, but her assertiveness won me over. Not that that is the main reason. In fact, it's just a small reasoning. I don't like to be bothered over and over, but Katrina is different. She's sweet and she smells pretty and.....nothin'. What's going on? I felt something last time. Right? I'm positive that that night we did the dirty. At least I am sure we did. She told me we did and I was satisfied with the revelation, but if I'm completely honest, it's kind of a blur.

"Hey, baby? Can I ask you something?", I nervously say. "What exactly did we do that day?"

"Well, you were really sweet and shy, but brave enough to sit me down and tell me that you didn't want to move so fast, Katrina replies. I did? The what the hell did we do? In answer to the question I didn't ask, she leans over to my ear and whispers exactly what I did with my mouth on her, ahem, body. Boy if my face isn't red. It just might be since she is laughing at my embarrassment, but I can see the hilarity of the situation, so I chuckle a bit eventually. We go back to the movie. Nice and cozy. My mom and dad are out, so it's just us and it's quiet here, other than the television sounds. Soon we both fall asleep until my parents get home. A simple date that went well comes to an end, so I take her home. When I get back home, my mother and father are talking in hushed voices that halt the minute I walk into the dining area where they are.

"Hi. I'm back...so, whatcha guys talkin' about?" I said, rocking on my heels. I can't help my bashfulness though. They are too obvious and I know the next thing that comes from their mouths could make or break the evenings good atmosphere. Luckily, I pull myself together before they relay to me what they were talking to each other about,

"Mark, your father and I are worried", my mother starts. Seeing my confused expression, she continues, "You are approaching the age where your wolf becomes in-tuned with your senses and that will result in you finding your mate. It's a wonderful thing to be happy about, but I worry that your activities with these random women might....", she trails off, but I know exactly what she's saying. Won't my mate reject if they smell other people rate on me. Most likely he since I am an Omega, which means my preference is to be the bottom by nature so that I can continue the pack lines. Despite the constructing of my heart at the thought of my mate rejecting me, what I say next is hopefully done with resounding confidence. 

"It's alright, ma. I sure that my mate will accept me, no matter who I used to date", I say, trying to quell her worries. Underneath my agreeable facade though, I don't want a mate. I don't want someone who I know will expect me to lie face down, ass up. Okay, maybe I am jumping the gun here, but that is how our society is. Omega now to their mates. Their mates take the Omega and make children with their bodies. Then the Omega take care of the kids and the he dominant male lives his life and comes back to a mate ready to take a good pounding. It's horrible and degrading and I am not having. No way, no how!

"Son, we know that your views on Omega are not favorable, but there is no need to hide what you are. Omega are a treasure, a beautiful gift given to us, just as you are. We love you for who you are and that is grown, healthy-"

"Gamma", I interrupt him. I really appreciate his words of encouragement. They took so much care of me and I love them. I will continue to love them, but I need to establish who I am. That isn't something up for discussion though. They will understand someday, hopefully. Not today seemingly since the reaction is a sigh, but I will take it, so long as thy accept my decision. 

"Gamma. A grown, healthy Gamma", my dad concedes with clear reservations. Good. We can now move on from this issue hopefully. 

"So, if you aim to be Gamma, then what sort of job are you thinking of for your future?", my mother asks. I suppose it's fair to tell them, since these days we've all been too busy to real sit down and talk.

"I'm thinking construction or something along those lines", I reply. "I'm also thinking boarder patrol as a possibility. I got to time to think it over still, so I'm not too worried. Anyways, I can't achieve my goals if I don't work for them, so I'm gonna go up and do some homework."

"Alright, sweetheart. Are you hungry? I can make you something or warm up leftovers if you'd like", my mother offers.

"Sure. I could use something. I will keep an ear out for ya while I'm up in my room", I said as I raced upstairs. My room is decently clean, even with the weights that take up a corner of the room. My bro has his music on, but I'm not sure he is there. He has a habit of sneaking off whenever he turns up his radio. Oh well, none of my business. 

I take a look at my calendar and what I see has me doing a double take. It's near my birthday! Five days to be exact. We don't celebrate or anything, but it is noteworthy for it will be the day I turn 18. The age where I can recognize my potential mate. If I'm lucky, I never meet them and I can go on living my life. 

After some homework, I head off to bed. Back to the place I don't wish to go, but head to anyways because I can't control my bodily need to sleep my life away. In that dream, a silhouette of a man is in front of the full moon. He turns to me and walks to where I stand. I'm flushed up against a tree, surrounded by strange trees closer to the one I'm up against. I'm boxed in. Trapped. And I don't care. As the figure approaches, I begin to recognize his features...I knew it. That boy who told me and Katrina to stay away from each other. What's he doing here in my sanctuary? What does he want from me? And damn it, why won't he take it? After that thought, he turns me and pushes, forcing me to hit the floor...wait, the floor? 

I look up to find myself in my room. The sun is rising and it's time for another day of school. Another day to deny what transpired in my subconscious.