back off, sns | bts & rv

scenario: jimin & taehyung

ding dong!

- you're here.

- i'm here.

jimin arrived at taehyung's house mentally prepared, all ready for their upcoming men's talk. once the door opened, the two have a solemn encounter with their eyes glued onto another's and their breath taken away under the vacuumed atmosphere. would be even more serious if there were some red music played in the background.

- you bring it with you?

- of course i do. 

jimin takes out a giant plastic bag, it was full of chicken nuggets. 

- YAYYY CHICKEN NUGGETS BRO I LAV CHU!!

- LET'S FUCKING EAT I'M STARVING!! 

jimin and taehyung hold each other's hand, skipping happily into the house. chicken nuggets always possess a miraculous power to turn any dead ass gentleman into a fast-food hoe, same thing happens to these duo. they rush forward the living room, quickly settling themselves down and enjoying their dream meal. 

- oh tehyon-ah i fergot—

- fenesh eatin furst broh i dun't undarstain chu

- chu tu broh

jimin and taehyung simultaneously swallow their food, take a sip of water, and face each other in silence. 

now, it is finally time for an actual men's talk.

- so, what's up jimin?

- let me go straight to the point. i, like kang seulgi-ssi.

- that's not a point anymore, that's already a fact.

- shut up. by the way, i want to state that, i'm not stepping off this game.

- huh???

- don't huh with me, i know you like her too

- gosh my poor fellow your negative IQ terrifies me. what the fuck makes you think i have feelings for her??

- y-your instagram post, and your compliments...

- go die jimin you're wasting a living spot for intelligent people. i mean, of course her unique beauty amazes me, but that's all! i've been mesmerized by other women you know, for example—

- bae joohyun-ssi?

- ...

- mmm? i can't hear you

- okay i'll raise your IQ to zero.

- taehyung ah, i may be helpless in my own case, but super keen in others'

- i approve this. so yeah, technically, this is the thing i wanted to tell you about

- oh, you like her?

- no. 

- sure?

- ...not yet. but i want to know more about this woman. 

- what's your plan?

- let's trade. i'll help you with seulgi-ssi, and you help me with joohyun-ssi

- but how?

- here's the tea. when i worked with seulgi-ssi, i got to know her number—

- YOU GOT HER NUMBER BEFORE ME??? 

- YAH focus! so i'll give you hers and you guys set up a meeting or whatever you want; then you can get joohyun-ssi's number for me. sounds good?

- why don't you directly ask her on instagram or something??

- that crazy woman blocked me already. that's why i'm counting all on you jimin-ah

- i'm not sure...but well, let's see how it goes

- deal!

and then jimin and taehyung go back to their chicken nuggets mukbang, women could never be as attractive.