One Breath (OffGun)

12. Rain Fox

Finn POV

It's 8 am, and I barely can't sleep. We had deep talked until dawn come. And now I need hot chocolate or hot milk to make me relax a bit.

Thanks God this is weekend.

I go to the kitchen to make some drink. But I can't stop my mouth to smile. Because I slept on a bed with lot of plushies.

I don't even know that Mark let Neil left his plushies one by one. So, Neil always buy one or some everytime they go out together. And barely leave them in that room.

And I just found that Neil love plushie.
Yeah, he's cute boy. He's not that short for truth. Just because he always tag along with Mark, wears bigsize  outfit, and put down his hair, he looks that petite and cute.
But, he can looks so manly when he doing something serious without a words, or he annoyed, or in situation which need.

But plushie?
Hell no....

While roam Mark's kitchen, I remember something.
Fluffy soft green big cushion on the couch in club room....
Yeah.. I got it know why my members together once glared at me and shook theirg head when I wanna use that cushion. That belongs to Neil. And "guard" by Mark.

I chuckle a lil'.
Alright, that's so Neil.

I open the fridge.
Fruit? Milk? Cake?
Since when?

I decide to make some breakfast for me and Mark. I've plan to have some meal then back to sleep. I'm so sleepy, but my stomach need its feed.

"Finn, since when you became morning person?"
I startled because that voice.

"Shit, Mark!" I hit him with spatula. "I wish I can hit you with this hot pan."

Mark ignore me. He open the fridge and take milk and some fruit. And he stop a while in front of the open fridge.

I hear he take a big sigh and take out a cake I saw before.

"It's Neil favourite," he talk like he knew the question in my head.

He put the blueberry cheese cake on the table, and staring at it.

"Don't open that cereal box," I said to him. "I made you American breakfast already. Because I'm hungry to the death."

He just stare at me but say nothing.
I put the plate on the table.
He pour milk into the glass. Pretty glass. So clear like crystal.

"Neil buy this and left this here. He doesn't like a fat one up there. Not because he hate that. But he usually drink with small but height one."

"Yeah, suit with him, isn't it?" I laugh for a second.

Mark just nod, then he take a gulp of the milk.

"So, the cake, milk, fruit, plushie, long sleeve big t-shirts, slippers, ......"

"Soap, shampoo, body talc, cologne, yeah... Those are him," Mark continue. His face become sadder.

Suddenly I hear some voice from out. I look my phone.
It's still in the morning. Half past nine. And as I remember, the sky is clear, the sun so bright, the wind blows softly, and almost hot outside. That's why I decide to go back to sleep after have some breakfast.

"Rainfox," I hear Mark's mumble a word.
"It calls rainfox" he repeat his word while stare at me like know that I'm questiong in my head, and put down his fork, and out from the kitchen with his milk.

I finish my breakfast, and follow him with my cup of hot tea. He sit on the couch near the window. The big one. He look out the window in silent.

"Neil told me once in the past. That at day when sky's clear, sun's bright, no sign of dark clouds, the wind blow in it's breeze, but suddenly rain falls, that called 'rainfox'," Mark explain to me.

I can't believe my ears that he believe something like that.

"I didn't believe it either, Finn," he look my face, drink his milk, and put the glass on the table besides him.
"But it always happen when I find him crying at daytime. I didn't believe that at the first time. But after that ..... "

"He's crying?"

Mark nod. Then take a deep breath.
"And I still don't know the reason at all. He never told me. Never."

"Mark, think about our last conversation. Gather all of your shits here and there, and makeup what you need, too. Soon or late, you'll loose him if you just sit here being handsome."

Mark look at me and ask with his eyes. I just lift my shoulder, then walk to his room.

"Mark, I sleep in your room. Because that bedroom ...... "

Fuck!

"I think you shall find the owner of this condo a.s.a.p," I enter his room before he kill me with his sharp glare.

-------------------

Mark OPV

I drink all milk then lie my self on the couch. I close my eyes and try to sleep a bit with listen the voice of the rain.
Then suddenly some part of a song play in my ear like whispering into my mind.

But however more I do, it ends up like you don’t care
However more I do, the more questions arise in my heart
It’s the loudest silence inside

Do you ever feel it? Can you hear it?
The loud voice inside shouting that I love you
I’ve always kept it inside
Do you feel it? Can you hear it?
The love that I still have never spoken
I’ve always kept it inside my heart
It’s the loudest silence in my heart

What should I do? How long must it take
For you to understand that everything I’ve devoted to you was because I love you?

Then some memories start to play like a slide show of hundred pictures in my head. And with that, I feel my tears flow like stream.

"I'm so sorry, Neil....... I'm so sorry.....
I hope it's not too late when I come to you.
Will you wait for me there a lil' bit more........?"

Cr. Getsunova, "The Loudest Silence"