Abusive

Can't Sleep

'Jesse! Stop being so fucking jealous! I'm not having an affair with Finn! He's my best friend!' I said in an annoyed tone and started walking away.

'Just because we're not in same schools, doesn't mean that I don't know what happen between you and him!' Jesse shouted and grab my wrist making my face him.

'Let me go! It's hurting Jesse!' I said with tears about to fall, we're in an empty parking lot, it's already dark.

'Why? For you run after Hudson?!' He said raising his voice and I'm nervous cause I don't know what the hell will he do.

'Don't say that Jesse! I love you, Jesse! I would never cheat on you!' I said raising my voice as well, and oh gosh, I really wish I didn't. After that I felt a hard slap against my face, my left cheek was burning.

'Oh my God, Rachel. I am so so sorry, I love you, please forgive me.' Jesse said break down crying and I hugged him, I too much scared what he would do if I didn't.

And in the very next day, Jesse St. James joined McKinley, making my life a living hell.

"AAAAAAAAA!" I yelled waking up and my heart were beating fast. I couldn't breathe, my whole body is covering in my own sweat. I look to the clock next to my bed and I see it's 2:48am. Gosh, I hate that, I hate Jesse St. James, I hate so much what he did to me that I can't even sleep.

I tried to sleep again, tried really hard, but I just can't! Arghhhh, this is so frustrating! Last night I couldn't sleep well because of the nightmares, I only could sleep well when I was at Finn's, I feel safe in his arms and I just slept for a couple of hours.

I stayed in my bed for awhile but then I noticed that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I just go downstairs with my blanket and put some a movie. When the movie ended was almost 5am and I still can't sleep.

I am tired, I wanna sleep but every time I lay myself down, I can't stop thinking, my head don't stop spinning and starts to come the imagine of Jesse St James.

I stayed sitting on the couch wrapped in my blanket staring the wall just thinking. When I look to my clock is 5:30am, fuck, why doesn't the time run by faster?!

I watch one episode from friends and it's now, 5:50am. I just go back upstairs and put a sweatpants, my hoodie and left the house, I gotta go to the park. I need to have to time to think.

I just go walking to the park and I feel the cold breeze from November hitting my face and I take a deep breathe, why does life have to be so difficult? Why can't my life be like from the others teenagers girls? I think the universe hates me, that's the only acceptable answer.

I sit on a bench in front of the lake and keep admiring, the sun is not on the sky yet cause it's winter so nights are longer.

"Rachel?" I heard a very familiar voice saying and I frown my eyebrows and look to the person that were behind me.

"Watcha doing here this time?" Finn asked her.

"I should ask you that." I said, I'm confused as hell.

"I was jogging, you doesn't looks like someone who have been jogging." He said mentioning the fact that I was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, don't blame me for being cold!

"I had to come out for a walk, couldn't stand being in home. And since when did you jog?" I asked and he giggled.

"Since Kurt said I had to do exercise cause I just eat crap." Finn said and I laughed a little and he sit next to me.

"Well, I know I've been kind of put for the past months but I'm pretty sure that you still play football and that's exercise enough." I said giggling and Finn laughed.

"I know, I know... But sometimes I like to do some exercise for my own, not because the Coach is yelling at us to do it." Finn said and I chuckle.

"Makes sense."

"How about you, why you couldn't stand being home?" Well, I can't tell him the truth or can I? I'm so confused.

"I didn't had a good night of sleep,  I tried to sleep again but failed miserably. So I decided to go out for a walk before go back home and take a shower to school."

"Bad dreams?" He asked and I don't think there is any need to tell him about the nightmares, right? It  will worry him for nothing so I'm just following for the easiest path.

"Nah, I just slept in a bad position." I said lying trough my teeth but I don't have any difficult to lie, I can do that in my sleep. Fuck Jesse St. James ruined me.

"I hate when that happen."

"It's really sucks." 

"By the way, nice outfit." He joked and I laughed cause I am wearing a  pink GAP hoodie and grey sweatpants with socks and sandals, normally I would feel embarrassed for someone seeing me basically in my pj's but I just got in a point of my life that I don't care anymore.

"Thank you, I can get you one of these." I mocked and he laughed.

"No thank you, glad that you offered."

"Just wait till your birthday." We laugh when I said that.

"Oh fuck, now I'll have matching clothes with you and that is grey sweatpants and pink hoodie." He said desperate and I laughed.

"If you can keep complaining I'll give you MY hoodie and I don't know if you ever noticed but the difference of heights between us a lot of inches."

"Hell I noticed, since I have actually to look down to talk to you."

"It's not my fault you're giant."

"And you're shorty."

"Shut up." I said and tap his arm lightly and he smirk.

"Look, it's 6:30am, we should go home to don't get late." 

"I think you're right."

We go walking till my house, Finn actually lives in the beginning of the street so it's not a change in his ways.

"Thanks for bringing me home, Finn."

"You're welcome. Want me to pick you up to school?"

"You sure? I mean, you don't have to."

"Cmon, I want to."

"Okay then, I'll see ya later."

"See ya."