Abusive

Prison

(A/N: I cried writing this chapter.)

After school Finn brought me home and the ride was silent. He tried to ask me if I were okay and I just lied saying that I was fine. I don't even know what the word 'fine' means anymore. I've already said that I was fine a thousand times since Jesse's thing came out but the truth is that any of them were actually true.

Now is like 5:30pm so I took a shower and I searched in the internet, the visit hour starts at 7pm and the prison is a little bit far from my house, maybe an hour by car. So I just grab my car keys and without thinking twice I left the house.

I left a note to my dads saying that I went to the cinema and should get home late, the will never find out that I am going to visit Jesse St James in the prison!

When is like 6:50pm I get in the prison, I still have 10 minutes before the visitors hour starts and I just stay in my car staring the concrete building in front of me and my hands are shaking, I fell really sick. I thought that I would see Jesse for the last time maybe in trail but before or after that? Never. I hate him with a passion.

I stayed in the car for about 20 minutes and now is 7:10pm and I get off the car. I slowly walk in that concrete box and went talk to a woman.

"Came visit?" She asked and I nod "That way." She said pointing to my right. I walk to there and I see a small line to wait to say who you're going to visit and being checked before walk in.

"Who do you came visit?" A woman asked.

"Jesse St James." I said and felt like a punch in the stomach.

"Jesse hun? That's a first." She said.

"What do you mean?"

"No one came visit him, no one from his family or friends."

"Oh."

"But I honestly can't blame them, what a bastard. You seem like a lovely girl, why you're visiting him?"

"I had to tell him in person what he did was very very wrong."

"Do you know the girl?"

"Yeah, close friend of mine."

"Oh, tell her that she is strong and she did right to tell the police." The woman said and genuinely smiled.

"I will." I said smiling and she hand me a visitors card then a cop checked me to make sure I could go and checked my purse too.

Then a random guy take me to a room, there was actually a lot of people there talking with prisoners.

"Okay lady, you have 30 minutes and use the phone to talk and listen to him. Don't worry, he can't touch you with this glass separating you two." The man said then left and I keep focusing in my breathe, focusing to not faint. I was with closed eyes concentrating in my breathe that I didn't even noticed when he gets there.

"Hello love." I heard his voice saying trough the phone and my heart stopped and I opened my eyes and I look to him, the same bastard, he has a smirk on his fave and I know that smirk, it's the one that is following me in my dreams.

"Jesse." I said with a disgusted tone.

"I don't like your tone." He said.

"Too bad, is the tone you're getting." I said to him and he giggled, his evil giggle.

"I missed you." He said smiling.

"At least one of us is happy." I said, I don't know where I got the courage to talk with him like that, I think is the fact that the man said that he couldn't touch me. "Orange fits you perfectly." I said and he laughed.

"Really? I still rather green or black." He said. "Green match with my eyes."

"Let's cut the crap and please answer me Jesse, why the hell you're doing this to me?" I asked with a sad tone.

"What? Can't a man miss his girlfriend?" He asked and I got really mad. "I missed you, love."

"Stop!!! Stop with that!!! I am not your girlfriend, I once were and it's not a secret to anyone that this is the biggest regret of my life, that I hate myself everyday for once letting you in my life." I said and a tear slipped my cheek. "Why you're doing this to me Jesse? After all you've already did? You ruined my life, I can't sleep, I barely eat, I can't concentrate in nothing cause you're in my mind 24/7 and definitely not in a good way. I hate this Jesse, I hate myself for not telling sooner, I hate what you did and I hate you. So why you're doing that to me? Can't you just let me go? Let me try to be happy? Do you know how is the feeling of waking up everyday covering in sweat and not being able to sleep again? No? Because I do! Do you know how is to be scared every second of the day? No? Because I do! And all of this is your fault Jesse, you did that to me, you ruined my life. Jesse, do you know how is to feel so angry and sad about yourself that you just looked yourself in the mirror and wished you were dead? How many times while I was in that damn hospital I prayed to die already?! And still when I finally think that I will have the chance to try to move on, like always, you drag me down. You might be okay with yourself but I am not fine at all. I'm tired saying that I am fine, cause I am destroyed and you did that to me. Sending notes and threatening my friend? Please Jesse, I am begging you, please stop." I said and I couldn't hold my tears, this is the first time I put my feelings out and I never thought the person who would be listening were Jesse and before Jesse had the chance to say something a man came saying that the time were over and took him away and I sighed in relief and grab my purse and left.

I am actually relieved that I said everything out, for the first time in ages, I saw an emotion on his face besides angry. I could see that he were somehow hurt and sad about my words but I couldn't care less.

"The visit went well?" The same woman from earlier asked when ai came back to give the visitors card back to her.

"Let's just say that I said everything I thought about him." I said and she small smiled and for some odd reason she hugged me.

"I know you're the girl he abused. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, just know that you're amazing and incredibly strong. For someone that is only 16, how already have been trough so much, but I want you know what the other cops thinks about you? That you're an example, everyone here admires you and when you were in the Hospital everyone prayed for you to be okay. You're not alone, just know that." She said and I started to cry hard on her shoulder and she were petting my back while I sobbed.

"Thank you so much, you had no idea how much I needed to hear that." I said looking in her eyes and she gave me a sympathetic look then she wiped my tears and I left.