Abusive

A Month Later

Hello hello, been a while right? Let's just say that things aren't that great. So, I ran away about a month ago and I am at Atlanta! Well, I am scared every second of the day but for now everything is calm...Too calm. And that's even more preoccupying. I have no idea how are people back in Lima and if I don't know it will hurt less.

I left my phone right back in my bedroom in Lima. I can't keep any contact, the risks are very big. I'm living in a very small apartment that I rented here in Atlanta.

My life is going on normally, I'm studying in a small High School here and it's really weird. It's weird to go to school and don't have Finn around. I constantly write letters, telling everything to him. I never sent. But I like to write, makes me calm down.

It's late of night and for some odd reason I felt the urge to send Finn all of the letters. So I just go to the mail close to my building and sent all the letters and when I was coming back home, someone put a clothe in my mouth, I tried to get off but failed.

Oh fuck.

——Days Later——Finn's POV

I went grab the mail in the mailbox and when I opened it was full. That's weird. I check and there are a lot of letters with my name on it. I grab them and go to my room and lay on my bed, I know that handwriting anywhere, my Rach.

December 19th, 2009
Dear Finn,
Quite a birthday yesterday, hun? I don't know why I am writing this letter cause I will never send it. I think the idea of talking to you makes me feel better. Yesterday was the day I ran away from Lima and I seriously have no idea of what I am doing now, I just know that I'm crying a lot. I don't like to cry but I kind of get used to it cause I've been doing this everyday for more than a year. I'm now in a train going to somewhere. I have no idea where, but the I'm going the most away that I can. I miss you like crazy. I know we didn't talked after that roof thing but I never stopped thinking about you. Actually, this past week I had a lot of time to think. I love you and I hope that someday, we have the chance to be together.
Love you so much
-Your Rach

January 2nd, 2010
Dear Finn,
Happy New Year. Remember when I told you I didn't have any idea of where I was going? Yeah, I'm at Atlanta. To stay here cause if Jesse is looking for me, it will be harder to find me in a big city. I hope he never find me. My life is the same craziness as always, worried all the time and missing you all the time. Not only you, but the whole glee club and my dads. I have no clue about what to do now. Should I join a school and try to finish my Freshman year? I don't know. I'm lost.
Love,
-Your Rach

January 13th, 2010
Dear Finn,
Wow it's been a while. I like to writing to you cause I can say everything I am feeling. I trust you. And talking about trust, I would like to talk about the notes that Jesse left me, you probably read them all and my diaries. And knowing you, I'm sure that you blame yourself about this whole situation. And please, DON'T DO THAT!! My thing with Jesse started a long time ago and he just used you to threat me cause he knows I would literally die to save you. You probably think that I am crazy for saying that. But I am speaking the truth. You don't have any idea of how special you are to me. Your arms around me is my Safe Heaven, your warm lips against my lips are fireworks and being next to you is a gift.
I love you and I don't fear of saying that.
-Your Rach

January 14th, 2010
Dear Finny,
Hey you! I woke up today with a very weird feeling in my heart. Like something bad is going to happen. And I know this feeling very well and I don't like it. Usually when I feel like that is something about Jesse. It's like I have an small angel on my shoulder telling me to sent those letters for you and I am confused. I never planned that. I think my life is finally getting back on tracks, I go to a High School that we have here and I'm actually liking it. Of course I rather to be at McKinley, but let's just value what we have, right? I've learned to value small things while I am here in Atlanta.
This weird feeling is very strong. So I am just going to say everything I'm thinking right now and what I have to say and trust me, I have a lot to say. Finn, if I don't write you anymore probably something bad happened. But I don't want you to worry, please don't worry about me. No matter what, I am going to be just fine. I always end up fine. Nothing will drag my down. I won't let myself die or something before I give you one last hug. Finn, I know you sometimes think that you're not capable of doing something, but you are. I know we are only in Freshman year but if we never see each other again, you need to know that I will always believe in you. I believe that you can join any college you want to, you can get a full scholarship if you want to, you can get a A+ in math if you want to...My point is that you can get anything you want. Cause you are perfect. You are way better than you think you are. I don't want you to suffer because of me, I want you to live your life cause you deserve it. I am setting you free Finn Hudson. Go to parties, get a girlfriend and live your life. A normal teenager life. That's not a goodbye, it's a see ya later. Don't worry, you still will hear from me. But please, just do what I said. I'm letting you go.
Love
-Your Rach.

That last letter just broke me in pieces. It was written a few days ago. It's the most recent one. I really need to know more about this bad feeling she was having. Unfortunately, I can't write her back cause doesn't have any address. My heart broke with her last words. Saying that I was free, I don't wanna be free if means to be away from my Rach. I just hope she is safe.

I can't keep the tears to myself, I miss my Rachie. I miss her funny laugh that she think is weird but I love. I miss her small height that is easy to wrap my strong arms behind her. I miss her smile. I miss sleeping with her in my arms. I miss her. I don't want her to let me go. Cause I will never let go of her.