Abusive

Scared

After Finn came home with me, I just went straight to the shower. After that, I got dressed, make up done and of course a lot of foundation to cover my bruises and I curled my hair. I look myself in the mirror and I don't like what I see.

Everyone keeps saying that I am strong, that I am the strongest person they ever met. But why don't I see any of that? I only see a scared little girl, why can't I see the strength? It must be cause I'm not strong, I am actually a coward, I should have told someone when he slapped me for the first, I should have broken up with him, I should haven't let him use me as his trophy girlfriend. I am a coward, that's all I see in the mirror, a girl who wasn't strong enough to fight back, to tell someone, I am pathetic. I guess Jesse was right all this time, I'm worthless, no one would care if I just...died.

NO! RACHEL STOP! STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF! DON'T LET HIM IN! DON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU! HE IS A MONSTER AND HE ISNT RIGHT!

I go downstairs and give my fakest smile to my dads, they have to believe that 100% ok, even though I will never be, let's face this like an acting exercise. After the breakfast I go upstairs and while I brushed my teeth I heard I horn coming from the outside to I finish brushing my teeth and I go downstairs and left the house.

"Hey you." Finn said standing outside the car.

"Hey yourself." I said and he smirk and he opened my door and I get in then he does the same.

We go the whole way to school laughing and talking, I never realized how much I missed him this whole time. I were secretly in love with him when I met Jesse and this happened so fast and being Jesse compromised my friendship with Finn cause even before Jesse and I really date, Finn already hated Jesse for some reason that until now I don't know,  they really never get along.

Now is time for lunch and I am here in the same place from yesterday with the glee club, we are eating and talking, today I'm actually talking a little bit more than yesterday.

But when I thought everything were going well, I saw the same dude from yesterday standing in the same spot, I can see his dark eyes looking right into mine, I think he wants me to notice that I notice that he is looking at me. Message received.

I turn my attention away from him and looks again to Quinn who were telling a story that I really can't pay attention. I am so scared, is that guy Jesse's friend? Did Jesse sent him to watch me? Did Jesse said to that dude to put that note in my locker? No, it can't be. It must be a coincidence, I am just overreacting.

"You're okay?" Finn asked me and the whole table looked at me and I faked a smile, man I should be an actress.

"I'm fine, I'm just distracted, that's all." I said trying and gladly they bought it and kept talking but I noticed that Fin is analyzing me.

"Something is up with you." He said, but this time just to me not the whole table.  A LOT OF THINGS ARE UP TO ME!!!!!!!!

"Finn, relax, I am just fine. You're being crazy." I said with a small smile.

"You know you can tell me everything, right?" He asked and I nodded and he opened his mouth to say something but the bell ring and he shut up and I grab my backpack and leave avoiding him.

I get in my locker and when I opened and another note fell from it. I froze before read it and take a deep breathe.

'Babe, miss you
It's been a while, right? Come visit me today! And if you don't, someone is going to get hurt and definitely it's not me...Your dads? Nah! Let me think higher...I know! Hudson.
If you don't come, Hudson is going to get hurt and will be your fault.
And that reminds me, if you tell anyone about this, he will get hurt.

Can't wait to see you. With love,
JSTJ'

My eyes widened and my heart starts beating super fast, why? Why this is actually happening? Why with me? It's always me! Fuck, I can't rest any second of my life. I am in Sophomore year, I only should worry in which college I wanna go! Not in ex abusive boyfriends! And Finn...My poor Finn...He can't get hurt, I can't let this happen.

"You're okay? You look pale." I heard Finn's voice saying and I immediately throw the paper in my locker and shut the door quickly and the noise made the whole hallway look to me confused but then just stopped staring.

"What was that?" Finn asked confused and my heart raced just to think about that damn paper.

"Nothing." I said trying to be cool but I can't, I just can't, this is too much.

"Cmon Rach, you know that you can tell me anything." He said knowing that there is something wrong.

"Can you please just take 'nothing' as my answer and make effort to believe, please Finn." I begged and he sighed. "Believe in me."

"Fine, I believe in you, now let's go to class." He said and we went to class together.

I am so scared, scared all the time, anywhere. No matter what, I am always scared and this is agonizing I hate this feeling! Everywhere I look I see Jesse with his dark and furious eyes looking at me and I am freaking out hard.