I Am Me (Book Two): Fate Is Wrong

Chapter 3: The First Time

Yes, this is an early smut chapter. The pacing is a little quick, but hopefully it's comfortable enough to connect with the characters.

Nathanial's POV

It's been a couple of months since that day he came to my house. Since then, he's woo'd me into certainty that we will be together forever. I'm here at my cave, looking at the opening where it hits the cave just right. Outside, it is surrounded by rock wall that hides it from the outside, surrounded by the mountain range. The cliffs are too high jump into the hole and the climb is to high to get to the hole. You would need either climbing gear or to go through my secret entrance. Anyone who buys climbing gear always wants to climb the big mountains, not its smaller, yet still big, runt. And from up high, you only see darkness, whereas from inside the whole, you see everything. 

I've come here to think. Things have changed. Valer is the best, Alpha's expanded the town, and young people have just left town after spring break had come to its end. But the the thing that I don't want to think about always comes into my head, so after so long, I came back to this cave, for a contained space to think about the one who I shared this place with. I haven't seen Eddie after he said good-bye to me over the phone. 

'What did I do? Please tell me so that we can talk about this!'

'There is nothing to talk about Nathan. I just have to leave', he says in a monotone voice.

'Eddie, talk to me? Please. I want to know why you're leaving so urgently? Did something happened? Is everything okay? Please, don't leave me to worry.' I beg. It's what I've been doing with him for the past five minutes. He is so cold, emotionless, not at all like himself. At least, not since he was a little boy. It must be some kind of defense mechanism. 'You're hurting for some reason. I want to help.'

'There isn't anything you could do to help. I'm sorry. I just want you to be happy without me ruining it for you.'

'Rui- You heard about my mate didn't you? Didn't you!'

I'm met with silence. I make my last chance for a plea to his sensible side and on our close friendship. It's gotta work! He can't leave me without talking and saying good-bye. Without letting me know when I will see him again. Without apologizing for whatever I did for him to try to protect himself from me.

'Eduardo, please! I love you. Remember back when we said that to each other? To always be best friends at each other's side. To always find our way back to each other because we need each other.'

'.......I love you, too.' Finally, some emotion from the crack in his voice. It is tearing him up inside and if it'll get him to stay, then I will rip him a new one and then see him back together. Good as new, if not better. Anything to not lose my best friend. 'But....'  Don't day anything you will regret. Eduardo, I beg of you, even if you can't hear what I'm thinking! Don't do this! '....you don't need me anymore. And....I don't need you either. We are both grown men ready to start our lives and it's time we do it, without distractions. Without someone to hold each other back.'

'You're not holding me back, but.....Eddie...am I holding you back?' Complete silence again. I can't believe this. I can't believe him. 'Alright, then. I suppose you made your point.' I swallow the lump, in my throat, holding back my tears, and say with a brave face, the only way I know will break him...at least that was my hope, 'Eddie, if you are doing this as some misguided way of helping me be happy, you're going about it the wrong way. I know, it's not about me, it's about you. And with whatever reason you have to turn off any love you had from me, then I'm sorry, that I hurt you and your beautiful heart. Yes, it's is beautiful and deserves all the happiness it can get and I don't want to hold you back from your happy ending. So, I will let you go. I promise that you won't hear a peep or find me looking for you. I don't want to ruin your life anymore. Thank you, for being my friend, and for keeping your promise all those years ago, to come back to me. You've been my best friend for the most significant parts of my life, and I wouldn't wish for any of it to change or for it to had been anyone else. I love you, Eddie.' I break at that last  part, but hang up before he could catch my whole crying fit. He did exactly what I feared all those years ago. He's gonna leave me and I had to let him go.

The more I think back on that time, the more I wish I could've seen any sign to tell me that he was hurting. To show me that not everything was hunky dory between us. I know for a fact that I am naive, seeing the good in everything and everyone. I mean everyone except me. I don't know where my head is with that logic, but efforts had proven unfruitful for the one person I cared most for at that point in my life. Now, that person is Valer, and I made it clear through our courtship that if there is any reason for him feel sad, to please tell me so that we can do what we could to fix it. He was there when I lost Eddie and he knew exactly where I was coming from. So, I took his word for when he said that he wouldn't hold back for me.

I'd say he is perfect, but that would be a lie or overselling him. I don't mean it in a mean way, he is the best person anyone can ever have met, but everyone has there downfalls. With him, I noticed when he's stressed. I note when he is hurting. I try to be as attentive as possible without being overbearing when I should back off. At least, I try. Sometimes, old habits die hard. I've fussed over him when he didn't want me to and I've ignored clear signs that I should have realized from the beginning were signs of a problem or many. Still, we make it work. He tries so hard and I always tell him how wonderful he is. He tells me how beautiful I am and how perfect I am in everything I do. So, today is that day, where he and I will take the leap. 

I head out with anticipation bubbling up in my stomach. I head over to our house, the house that my mother used to have before I gave her a house at a nice pack near the ocean. A beach house for her to relax. I promised her that I would be just fine because I not only had the packs support, but my mate will be there to help me. With that remark about my mate, she left, with some tears for the town she lived, the boy who grew before her eyes, and the man she would leave to lived his life. I promised to visit her every month or at least call her to let her know if I can't make it or not. Now, it's the house that we, the house that will be ours for when our kids become real. He fixed many things and it looked so new and beautiful. I've fallen for this man in the short time I've seen him and it's time I took that step to the rest of my life. 

When I walk through the front door, I see a trails of roses. Cliche. I like it! I followed it to the master bedroom, where Valer was standing, displaying his nude body except for the boxers hiding the delicious prize inside. 

"You look, stunning."

Uhh, does he not realize that I'm covered in mud and have slightly damp hair?

With a confused look, I eventually ask, " really"?

He gives me a long passionate kiss that makes me all the more excited. He rids me of my clothes and goes for ward with of devouring my body. He suck my nips, he jerks my cock, and he slaps my thigh. Oh god, that feels good. I can't hold on for too long, but I'm still gonna try. Then he is moving down my abs, past my navel. Ah, that's what he wanted!

"Oh god!" My hips try to buck on their own accord, but Valer has them held by his hands as he works me with his mouth. It's so good. He's doing all the right things and- oh god! His lined hand is starting to stretch my hole. It's too fast, too much, yet not fast enough. Need more!

"I'm ready! My god I'm ready!"

He flips me on my stomach and I get on my hands and knees. The anticipation is killing me, but then, he presses his member inside. I moan in satisfaction as he works me in and out. 

"So tight. I'm glad."

"I wouldn't have done or let anyone do me except you. Only you my mate." That gets him to go faster, throwing everything into the passionate slapping of his hips on mine. I'm moaning so much and he is grunting with a greater intensity as he goes faster and faster. Once he feels himself close, he grips my penis and start jerking me, causing me to cry out from the overwhelming pleasure. This is what sex feels like. 

My orgasm barely through me as it does him. He does what's necessary to clean me and him and then we fall asleep in bliss. If only it could last.....