Notes to Ashton.

chapter 9

Dear Ashton,

someone read this. it might have been on the page I left it on but I know that someone read it. the other papers were wrinkled in the corner from someone turning the pages. I don't go back and read them. because I don't want to. but now someone knows. knows almost everything yet I still am writing in this. I guess I need to hide it better and act like I don't know anything about this. damn im stupid. I shouldn't have left this out on the desk open.

but on another note, im scared.

that sounds weird and your probably wondering why. but I don't even know why. I was sitting in the shower letting the water run down my back as i held my knees to my chest. I got this feeling in my stomach. I was scared. and im scared to know why im scared. I could have sensed that someone was gonna read it, and now im scared to know who did. what if it was Luke. what if it was you?

I don't think that it was you because you won't even look at me. but I can't be sure at this point. im not sure of anything. And it couldn't be Luke because he's not here.

I wish you would talk to me. I want to hear your voice while its directed to me. I want your beautiful hazelish eyes to look into mine. I want to see your curls fall in your face to where you have to flip them out your face as you look down at me. I want to see you in those glasses you have to wear when you don't have contacts to be able to see. I just want to be a part of your life. and it sounds cheesy but its true.

I miss those times when you would actually talk to me. I miss those times we would beat each other in just dance on the wii and then order pizza after.

I just miss you all together but you won't ever know.

well I think Luke is coming over along with the other boys tomorrow morning for a band practice thing. I don't know. but knowing you guys your gonna be loud so I should sleep while I can.

I think..I think I might like you? so I can't really say I like you as a outro so bye.

-Cameron