Love Mia, Love Jimmy

Chapter Twelve: February

Mia's POV

Dear Jeb,

I don't think there is anything more beautiful than when the snow falls late at night or early in the morning and the street lights are on and the world is that black color with orange hues... you know? I know, but it's an aesthetic. 

Hey... it's been seven months. Well, two hundred and twenty two days but I'm not counting... Jonah celebrated his eighth birthday last weekend, and it felt weird that you weren't there to shove his face in his cake like you always did. It's crazy, to think I haven't seen your face in two hundred and twenty two days. That's... too many days. But that number, it isn't getting smaller, is it? I think the sooner I realize that - I don't know, you know? I ask a lot of questions for a guy who can't answer them.

Sailor can write her name, my name, all of her aunts, uncles, and cousins names, and yours, of course. She's going to be five in three months. Five... our baby girl is going to be FIVE, JEB! 

Do you ever think I'll stop writing you? 

Yeah, me either. 

Love, Mia

January quickly turned to February, the snow falling out of the sky in a way that made it seem like Mother Nature herself was pouring buckets of the white fluff onto New York City, cackling like a witch as she did.

We have a routine, the Fallon girls and I. We never discussed it, but my job description now included Sailor. The first day after the hospital, he just causually mentioned that Winnie and Franny enjoyed Sailor, and that their house was big enough for three little girls. 

For that, I am thankful. So thankful that I can sit on a bench in Times Square and watch the three of them play in the snow, not having to worry about getting up myself and freezing. Winnie throws a fistful of snow at Franny, but not before Sailor jumps in front of her and takes the hit. I hear giggles from the two eldest girls, the youngest's smile evident that she's having a good time."

"Hey." I glance up, knowing that voice anywhere. He unwraps his scarf slightly and settles himself down next to me. "Snow ball fights again?"

It's only been a couple of weeks since the hospital visit, but we've got a rhythm down. 

"Sailor took the bullet just now, but Fran's working on that arm of hers." We watch as Franny winds up and hurls a snow cluster at Sailor, hitting her on her left shoulder, Winnie falling over into a pile of laughter as she watches the other two. 

"That's my athlete." He smiles one sidedly. I study him in this quick moment when he's not looking at me. His stubble on his jaw is starting to grow into a beard, a few grey hairs poking around here and there. His brown eyes are warm as he watches his two girls laugh and smile, their blonde hair shines bright under their winter caps. 

"How was your appointment?" 

Two weeks earlier, he came home just as I was shuffling the girls to bed and flopped on the couch. He told me that he had been seeing a therapist, and that his session that day was exhausting. Now, every Wednesday, I ask how his session went when he comes and meets us at the park for his extended lunch hour. 

"Liberating. We talked about my emotions and everything." He forcefully throws a small wink my way.

"You're funny." I say, turning back to the girls. 

I don't ask what he talks about. It's not my business. I don't know what demons he's trying to fight, I just know that he's fighting them. I know he's starting to beat them, though, because just in a few sessions, I can see the difference. His shoulders aren't as tense as before, his chin a little higher. I can see the light in his eyes start to return even when his girls aren't around.