Every Lifetime I Fall {COMPLETED but undergoing revisions}

Chapter 47: Third Life - A Lover, A Wedding, A Marriage

I was ashamed of how I acted the other night. I didn't know how to put my anger and disappointment into words, thus I ended up arguing with Lu Kai like a child. Using words I could not take back.

Aunt Meng brought good news. A man wanted to meet me. I cringed at the thought of having to meet a man for the purpose of marriage, but I wanted to tick Lu Kai off.

"He's single, never been married, although he's poor, he's a nice man. I think you'll really like him," Aunt Meng held my hands as she spoke gently.

Watching Lu Kai walk by, I heightened my level of excitement, "That's so great, Aunt Meng. I'm so excited to meet him. I already feel like we're fated to be together!"

"Really? Well, isn't that great?! I'll set it up soon!"

Lu Kai glared at us momentarily before leaving. Aunt Meng leaned in closed and asked, "What about Ah Kai and Xiao Feng? Any plans on a wedding yet?"

Losing interest, I told her, "I don't know. You'll have to ask them."

Later that night, I heard a ruckus coming from the living room. Getting out of bed, I carefully stepped out with the River Sound Sword.

The candle lit room had two red-faced men hiccuping, drunk on rice wine.

"Lu Kai, you! You drank all my rice wine, you idiot."

Wu Jing was unconscious on the table, mumbling and giggling like a crazy person.

Lu Kai looked up at me and smiled, pointing his finger out, "It's her! Wu Jing, she's come!"

"What?" I was confused by his drunken behavior. He stumbled toward me, afraid that he was going to hit his face on the hard floor, I held onto his arm, stabilizing his fall.

"Wu Jing Ge... You're the only one I can talk to," Lu Kai whispered.

Does he think I'm Wu Jing?

"I don't know what to do. You know she's never seen me as a man. She doesn't love me." He put his face into his hands, disheartened. His pout reminded me of when he was a young child.

"Who are you talking about? Xiao Feng?"

Laughing, he said, "Yeah, everyone thinks I should marry Xiao Feng. She's cute and her cooking is amazing..."

Is he salivating?

"But I've grown used to bad cooking. The type of cooking that leaves your throat dry and eyes teary."

Glaring, I asked, "Are you talking about my cooking, Lu Kai?"

Ignoring me, he continued, "We went through so much together.... life and death. Poverty and luxury, we shared it all. She was mine and I was hers... don't you feel that she's too cruel?"

"What are you talking about?"

Grabbing my shoulders, he confessed, "I love her! I don't care what you say! She might kill me, but I can't hide it anymore! I have to tell her before it's too late!"

He pushed me aside and ran into my room. Chasing after him, I crossed my arms, judging his intoxicated character.

"Xiao Kai, go pass out in your room."

Stripping down to his white underclothes, he turned around and said, "Na Li, I was just talking to Wu Jing Ge."

"You were talking to me, you drunk."

Slapping his chest, he asked, "Does this not excite you?"

"What the--? What do you think you're doing?"

Is he crazy?!

Placing his arms around me, he pulled me into his chest and whispered in my ear, "The women at Gan Xing Pavilion loved it when I did this."

Blasting him into the air, he flew onto the hard bed. Holding onto the area I punched, his face grimaced in agony.

"You are despicable."

"Ugh... the Star Gem."

Worried, I approached his side, "What? What is it? Is the Star Gem hurting you?"

I placed a hand on his shoulder to get a better look, however he pulled me onto the bed next to him, suffocating me in his hold. Lying on the bed, next to his warm body, I couldn't break free.

"Your heart doesn't race, even when I try to seduce you. You don't find me attractive at all," the whispers of his croaky voice tickled my forehead.

What is he saying?

"You've never seen me as a man. I'll always be a Younger Brother in your eyes. That poor village girl you saved."

"Of course, you're a man."

I mean you have everything a man would have...

"When you asked me to marry you, do you know how happy that made me feel?"

Made him happy? Didn't he spend the whole week ignoring me?

His longing eyes stared at me like ocean waves pulling me under. I wanted to disappear from his sight. It was too intimidating.

"I didn't know what to say... You were always my hero, my mentor, someone who I looked up to. I'd never imagine myself being with you... as your lover. I felt embarrassed because I knew I wasn't good enough."

He was not embarrassed of me but of himself?

He sighed, "When you were talking to Wong Lei Tian that day the children came over, I was envious. Watching you and him together with the children like you were a proper family... I felt like I was losing you."

He was afraid of losing me like I was afraid of losing him to Xiao Feng.

"I have nothing in this world to offer you, nothing but my own life. Should you wish for me to be a rich man, I shall provide that for you. Should you wish for me to remain your foster brother, I could suppress my heart. But if you talk of marriage so indifferently, how is that fair? Do you want me by your side because it's comfortable or because you truly love me?"

The darkness obstructed my view of his face, but felt our nose bumping softly as he lightly placed his lips onto mine.

"What are you doing?" My lips were held prisoners by his. I could barely breathe with the pressure of his lips' dominating suction.

The smell of sweet rice wine on his breath clouded the air. My heart wouldn't keep still. Pinning me underneath his weight, he continued to suck out my life source with both of his strong hands holding my head still. My hands naturally moved on its own, caressing his pumped chest, grabbing onto his steady shoulders.

A stabbing pain clawed at my heart. Opening my eyes, I broke out from Lu Kai's passionate embrace. Clutching onto my chest, I found it hard to move like I was paralyzed from the electrical shock pulsating in my rib cage.

Lu Kai's face planted into the straw pillow, passing out without noticing that I was struggling to breathe. Forcing my body to move, I ran outside to inhale the fresh air. Once I was out of the vicinity of the house, the pain contracted and I was able to move freely like before. Almost as if the pain in my chest didn't appear at all.

After moments of recollecting myself, I went back inside to observe the sleeping Lu Kai.

Do I... love Xiao Kai?

Abruptly the pain reappeared, causing me endless torture as I tried to silence my voice from alerting Lu Kai. Cold sweat stained the entirety of my body, dripping from my head down to my neck.

Was this the feeling of love?