Every Lifetime I Fall {COMPLETED but undergoing revisions}

Chapter 147: LK V

With her in my arms, I leave Crimson Snow Valley. All the disciples are dead, missing or have fled.

Out in the fierce winds of snowy weather, I hold Na Li Jie and walk slowly to not hurt her.

"Lu Kai." Na Li Jie's raspy voice whispers my name.

"Don't try to speak."

She breathes heavily. "But if I don't tell you... that I love you. Will you know?"

Upon hearing these words, I stop walking.

"What?"

"Since I'm dying, I want to tell you how I really feel. I like you... Not as an older sister loving a younger sibling, but as the man I want to marry."

"Why... Why did you tell me to marry Xiao Feng?"

I thought marrying her would bring you back to me. I thought foolishly this was what you wanted from me. I thought since you didn't want me, at least you'd return to be my Na Li Jie as before. If I couldn't have you as my person then having you in my life as anything would have been enough.Why was I so wrong?

"Because I'm stupid, all right? I tried to push you away. You can't marry anyone else but me." She tries to swallow blood that almost escapes her mouth.

I'm really going to lose her, aren't I?

Laughing at her playful words, I can't stop the tears from flowing. Sweet words uttered in the most bitter moments. She wants me in the way I've wanted her for the longest time.

Na Li Jie brushes the drips of sorrow rolling down my cheeks. She's still trying to comfort me. That's how she always was. Comforting me and always by my side.

Kneeling onto the thin layer of snow, I hold Na Li Jie close. I'm finally holding her. Such a dear person to me. Such a lovely being to have come into my life.

"How am I supposed to live on without you? You are everything to me... my light," I struggle to hold back the aching cry hidden in my throat.

"Funny." She smiles.

"What is?"

"You are my light as well."

We were living for one another. How was I going to live with my light gone?

"Na Li... Please don't leave me."

"I'm right here. I'll always be right here."

Brushing the hair away from her face, I quietly confess, "I-- I love you."

"I know."

This whole time she knew... and in the end she loves me too. How terrible is it that I finally figure it out and she... is leaving?

I lightly plant my lips on her forehead.

"You must... You must live on. I won't forgive you if I die for nothing, Xiao Kai," she tells me.

Na Li Jie places her left hand on my chest, and say, "As long as you have the Star Gem, I will find my way back to you."

"Then I will wait for you to come back to me."

Squeezing her fragile body even closer to my chest, I place my lips on hers and feel her take her last breath. I sob as I move away. Caressing her completely still face with my fingers, I realize I'll never see her smile ever again, never hear her voice, will never feel her warmth.

The snow falls endlessly. Layering another sheet of soft white on top of Na Li Jie's cold body.

For hours, I hold her with tears freezing like streams in the coldest winter. My eyes become blinded by frozen crystals.

She fell asleep in my arms. Forever, never will she wake up and make me breakfast nor keep me company again in this world.