Every Lifetime I Fall {COMPLETED but undergoing revisions}

Chapter 115: Fifth Life - Cursed Sight

I scoop up a spoonful of bean sprout soup and blow on it so that the temperature would cool. Slurping it up, I'm content with the plain and refreshing taste.

Yang Zi Huo chuckles to himself, making me suspicious.

"What?"

He says, "I just think it's funny that you eat anything I cook but won't drink anything I give you. Are you so sure I haven't poisoned the food?"

"I-- Well, I haven't died yet, have I? So I can only assume the food isn't poisoned."

"I'm glad you came to that conclusion."

Sneering, I continue to eat. However, I won't be eating to the point of overindulgence as usual.

"I will be helping out the villagers in the fields this afternoon and all day tomorrow." He clears the table while telling me all this.

"Don't tell me you brought me here to farm?"

"I said I will. You can stay here or go take a look around the area. It's up to you."

"So you brought me here to just lounge around by myself?"

"Were you expecting something else?"

"No. It's perfect, please take your time to help the villagers," I gleam cheerfully.

Yang Zi Huo is finally gone. Into my old room, I explore the new surroundings. New bed, new silky blanket, new cushiony pillows, new dressers, new desk and everything else.

"Wow. I can just fall asleep right now." I sit on the bed, testing out the soft padding.

Lying down, I assess the current situation. The more time I spent with Yang Zi Huo, the more confirmation he receives that I am indeed that pitiful Li Rong Xin. Even though I'm trying to be careful, who knows what little thing I do will make him see it as if I'm the reincarnation! Perhaps even from the way I breathe, I don't know.

If he won't turn his obsession to Ming Yan, the next best move for me is to get as far away from him as possible. Sure, he's asked about my whereabouts from Yi Fei, but this time I won't tell anyone where I'm headed. I won't even tell Chuju nor take her along with. She can act as a decoy here like I'm still running Xuehua.

That's right. I'll... just... run... away...

What seems like several hours later, I awake with a groggy mind. "Uuggh."

Oh goodness. I fell asleep before running away.

I blame Yang Zi Huo for waking me up so early and for feeding me too well. My body's gotten comfortable to such a schedule.

It's night time now and the house is embraced by the looming darkness. I can't believe I've slept for so long.

"Guess I can't do anything else but get comfortable."

I force my shoes off and get under the covers. Sighing, I quickly fall back asleep.

I'm dreaming now.

These nightmares reoccur occasionally. I don't ever get used to them though.

The sky is dark and cloudy with thunderous flashes of lightening. I'm on my knees and can actually feel the cold concrete against my skin. Lu Kai is standing with his hands chained to the two same towering wooden poles I've seen at Crimson Snow Valley.

My old Master, Zhao Bao Bai looks like a senile maniac with disheveled hair and a demonic grin. She uses her hands to attract the flow of lavender glow from Lu Kai's body. His body weakens and his head droops down as my muffled yellings does nothing to help him.

She takes the Meteor Sword in hand about to pierce right through his heart. I cry out with my voice strained and hoarse. My weak legs finally becomes of use as I muster all my strength to stand. Dashing towards them, I jerk myself awake.

I'm covered in sweat. Sitting up, a figure is also sitting on the bed staring at me.

"Aagh!" I scream.

"It's me," Yang Zi Huo whispers.

I let out a breath of relief which soon turns into an inhale of annoyance.

"What are you doing in here?" I ask.

"I heard you mumbling in your sleep. Were you having a nightmare?"

"It's nothing."

"It must have been sad. You were crying."

"I wasn't crying. It's just.. sweat."

"All right. I'm sorry I disturbed you."

He stands to leave.

My heart pounds abruptly with the urge to hold onto his sleeve. But I immediately froze and realize what I was doing. He leaves without looking back.

No... he's not Lu Kai. I don't need him. I... don't need to protect him.

With the Memory Preserver active in my body, the vivid memories of my past haunts me. However, the up side is that I can remember everything to protect myself. Not just from Yang Zi Huo, but from every lurking indecent human being that wishes to cause me harm.

The memories are a curse in my dreams. I remember everything about growing up as an orphan in Pingfan village, and the villagers' collective decision to abandon me as a demon sacrifice. The people I've killed as a disciple if Crimson Snow Valley... the look on their faces when I killed them. I can never forget that. The heartache and determination I had as a blind physician, it almost seems like a joke to me to be so passionate about curing others who had no beliefs in my abilities.

Even as Chen Mu Dan, that foolish version of me who pursued that selfish man all the way to capital city only to be sold into a brothel and to die miserably alone.

The signs that I couldn't clearly see in those life times, looking back I know I was blind and moronic.

I won't live so frivolously again.