Every Lifetime I Fall {COMPLETED but undergoing revisions}

Chapter 4: First Life - There's Only You

"We're sorry, Mu Dan. It is our fault to have given birth to someone so undutiful," Master Wu walked over to me and said this, but I could not find comfort in his words. Yi Huai really did not want to marry someone dumb like me. 

"Right, you've been waiting for hours and he still haven't come. He doesn't truly love you at all."

Why were they saying all this? Why were they hurting me over and over?

"It's best if you return home," Master Wu said this to me before turning away. 

"No. I will wait for Yi Huai. I want to hear him say that he doesn't love me. I want to hear him say that he doesn't want to marry me," I said with tears escaping my eyes, "Then I will leave."

Master and Madam Wu looked at each other before allowing me to wait. However, they said I could not wait in their home but outside because it would be inappropriate. It was better that way anyhow because if I was outside then I would be able to greet Yi Huai faster.

The whole night I waited with my arms around my knees, looking over to the path where he would have walked in from. I didn't see his face or even a shadow resembling him come.

I fell asleep at the door's gate when the next morning my Grandma came and started screaming at the Wu. 

"If you didn't want to marry Mu Dan then you shouldn't have dishonored her like this! How are we going to live with you marring her reputation like this!"

When did all these carriages appear? 

I must have been so tired from waiting, I didn't hear the Wu family's horse carriages come. Servants were piling goods and luggage onto the carriages.

"Please. I've told you countless times that the betrothal between my son and that girl should have been dissolved. But you were relentless. Now that Yi Huai has made it clear, he does not want to be with her. You both should move on," Madame Wu came out from the gates wearing a shiny cloak. 

Master Wu also came out and said, "Old Lady Guo, it's best if you sent her off to a Buddhist Temple to pray for good karma. She's not going to marry anyone in her state."

"You shut your mouth, you old fool! If it wasn't for Mu Dan's family pitying you then you wouldn't be where you are today. Give me back our family's heirloom! I know you people still have it! Here! This? This useless jade ring? Take it back! We don't want to be tied to you evil beings!"

Grandma threw the ring in Master Wu's face. Grandma said it was the ring of promise to wed me and Yi Huai. How could she throw that away!

"You! You-- You dare insult me?" Master Wu rubbed his forehead from where Grandma threw the ring. 

"Grandma! Grandma, how could you throw the ring away?" I cried running to pick it up from the ground. It was broken in half. It didn't fit my finger anymore. 

"Ai-yah, silly girl! These people are worst than animals! Don't waste your time on them anymore. I said give me back our family's heirloom!" Grandma was so angry that she lunged at Master Wu's collar.

"If you want it then come get it in capital city! Move out of the way!" Master Wu pushed my Grandma to the ground. She fell and yelled out in pain. 

"Grandma!" 

They were bad people. I saw that now. How could they hurt Grandma?

They are Yi Huai's parents, so does that make Yi Huai bad too?

I helped Grandma up, and asked Master Wu as he entered the carriage, "Is Yi Huai in the capital city?"

He scoffed at me and climbed in without answering. 

I have to find Yi Huai.

~~~

"Grandma, here eat some porridge." I held a spoon filled with rice porridge to Grandma's mouth, but she turned her head away.

"I don't want to eat, child."

I felt like crying. I only had Grandma left in this world. If her illness got worse then I would be left with no one.

She breathed loudly and coughed until blood came out from her mouth. I was so shocked to see it. I hurriedly brought over a towel for her and patted her back to ease the coughing.

After catching her breath, she said to me, "Mu Dan, promise me. Promise me that you'll never go looking for Yi Huai. He is not good to you."

I stared at the ground. I did not want to promise to what I could not follow through.

"Grandma, once you get better, I will go to the capital city to find Yi Huai."

She started to cough even louder. I rubbed her back hoping she would become calm.

"Mu Dan, I cannot stop you. Even when you were a young child, once you had your mind set on something, you would do it. Although I am not related to you by blood, I have loved you so much, my dear granddaughter."

A tear rolled down her cheek as she caressed my face. I really loved my Grandma. She always cared for me and thought about my well-being first. She never called me stupid or dumb. She'd always said that I was smart in my own way.

"If you really want to go, take this," she hands me a small pouch, "use it for food and only emergencies. Keep it away from others, you hear?"

I nodded.

"I have so much regrets. I cannot face your parents in the afterlife. I will have to pay for my mistakes."

"No, Grandma. No. Don't say that. You have always cared for me."

Grandma fell asleep after talking with me for awhile. I pulled the thin covers we had over her chest and also went to sleep in the daybed out in the living space. The next morning, I went to ask Grandma what she wanted for breakfast, but she didn't answer me. I held her hand, shook her body, and cried. But she did not wake up. She was so cold that I wrapped all the clothing we had in the house around her.

A nice auntie in the village came to see Grandma and froze when she saw my Grandma. She told me to go bring her husband and the other uncles and aunties to come, so I did.

They helped me bury Grandma and burned ghost money for her. I prayed that my mom and dad would not be too mad at Grandma. She didn't do anything wrong. I wanted to marry Yi Huai because he saved me. I didn't know about love, but I felt happy with Yi Huai.

"Mom, dad, Grandma... I am leaving today to the capital city to find Yi Huai. Maybe if I beg him... maybe if I just beg him, he'll pity me and let me stay. I don't even have to marry him. I can serve him well as a maid. Don't worry about me."

I dressed myself in my best clothes with a small wrapped cloth bag around my shoulders. From my small village, I was determined to find Yi Huai.

The way there was difficult. The aunties and uncle said for me to go south for three days then west for five. It was so hard for me to walk all day, and then at night there was nowhere to rest. I hid in caves to sleep and took shelter under the branches when there were storms. Grandma told me in the past to walk alongside the road but never on it or else bad people will come get me. I was scared that someone approaching me would try to steal my things and kill me. Sometimes they were just farmers or people walking by, but I decided to walk further in the wild to stay away from strangers.

I didn't eat and drink for days. When I walked by a small tavern, I decided to stop by for some food. There were some people in the place, so I thought it would be okay. Only after taking a sip of my tea, my eyes began to close on its own and I fell asleep.