Every Lifetime I Fall {COMPLETED but undergoing revisions}

Chapter 185: Fifth Life - Search For You II

Yi Fei objects my plans. She does not agree that I should put myself in danger just for a mere chance to find Yang Zi Huo in the Underworld. I don't have much choice. 

I can feel the remnants of the corrupted essence slithering through the crevices inside. Inducing a horrendous storm of inky blood to deluge out my mouth. I know this mortal body don't have long. I don't want to die before seeing Yang Zi Huo once more.

If he has reincarnated then our strings of fate will never cross. We will travel parallely and never meet. I can't bare the thought of knowing we could live in the same world but be completely separated until the end of time. Maybe that would be better for the both of us? But I cannot let my stubborn heart accept it. I know that it was because I decided to ban him from my lifetimes and now it hurts so much to let him go.

I place my hand over the wrist of an older man. The wooden chair creaks when he moves. He is coughing uncontrollably as his grandson tries to comfort him. 

"Do not worry. With age, one's body will not be as when young. We can prepare some medicine for you to take daily. But remember, it is important to not be doing so much labor any more," I tell him.

The old man sighs, "Who will care for this boy if I do not tend to the fields or cut wood?"

"Grandpa, I'm not helpless. I can take care of you now!" The little boy stands and puts his hands on his hips. 

They cannot see through my veil, but I am smiling and glad to witness their banter. Both are stubborn. At least the Grandfather is still strong enough to argue with his little grandson.

"Such as is life," I say. "The caretaker becomes the one to be cared for. You want to be there for him for much longer, right?"

The old man clears his throat, not answering my question. 

"You must take care of yourself. It won't do Xiao Baozi good if you are gone. Remember, you can always come here for medical help. If Xiao Baozi is hungry, you are more than welcome to join us for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Help yourself even to the rice in our pantry."

With a soft chuckle, the old man says, "To be hearing such gentle lecture from the Madam of Bleak Night... I truly am at a lost. You are just as generous and kind as they say... Just a pity."

Taken aback, I'm stunned into silence. Proud but also amazed at his adulation, I can only smile and timidly stare at the ground. 

In the past five years, I've lived with different ambitions. To not be so completely useless, I've tried to keep up with businesses or attending to the needs of the people. However, the balance of my productivity is misaligned. There will be months where I don't leave Shui Jing Mountain at all.

A different day during the evening hour, I'm walking through the main entrance of Bleak Night. While the previous leader has gone, another has stepped forward. 

"Madam."

"Welcome, Madam." 

The guards will greet me as Madam of Bleak Night. I should be used to it by now, but my heart will always be stung by grief. The Madam is here, but the Sect Leader is gone. 

Walking inside the Hall of Blue Flames, I'm reminded of the time when Yang Zi Huo and I shared a meal. I was still wallowing in hatred at the time and would glare at him while eating the feast he'd prepared. All the while, he was staring at me with content because the one he loved and missed was finally back. Now, I can only relate to the longing he endured all the years I was dead. It's unbearable.

"Madam, what brings you here?" Gu Yi enters the giant hall doors. 

With a long cape decorated with Raven feathers draped over his shoulders, he appeared sophisticated and mature. He no longer upheld the role of a secretary but was now the acting Sect Leader of Bleak Night. I could not imagine a more efficient leader to take Yang Zi Huo's place.