Behind The Scenes (Completed) ✔️

17• Leave me alone

Colby glanced behind, to find his friend and roommate Jake jogging towards him.

"Hey," Jake said again with a smile as he reached his friend. "What are you doing here ?"

"How did you find me ?" Colby asked back with a slight frown.

"Sam told me you often come to this beach, so I thought I'd come and look. We had agreed to film at 6 today, remember ? I searched for you everywhere, and I even started to panic when I couldn't find you. Your phone was still in your room, and your car was still in the driveway !"

"Yeah. I'm sorry... I just don't feel very good today."

Jake's expression became more serious. He sat in front of Colby, staring at his messy hair, his pale face, noticing the blue hoodie that he held under his crossed arms.

"Did you come here by foot ? Don't tell me you came here by foot."

Colby bowed his head.

"Did you eat today ?" Jake asked again, as his friend remained silent. He decided to rephrase the question as he realised the answer was rather obvious. "When was your last meal ?"

Colby didn't reply, genuinely unable to find an answer. The pink haired boy shook his head sadly.

"Why didn't you take X-Highs before going out ? You know you can't go out without them. You're causing yourself too much harm, Colby. What if something happened to you ?"

"I don't care what happens to me, Jake !" Colby replied, his voice slowly starting to break. "I don't care about anything anymore at this point. My life is nothing but an unrepairable, useless mess. I swear, if it wasn't for you and the people who still care about me, I would have ended it all a long time ago."

"Bro, don't say that."

"Why not ? It's the truth ! The only thing I'm good at is being a puppet to those Satanists ! They've taken everything from me. I used to like my job, I used to love making videos, now I'm disgusted by my own work. I used to love my subscribers, now I only feel pity for everyone that's watching me and thinks I'm that happy, cool kid that they see every week in our videos ! I used to be proud and grateful for the money I made, now I hate everything I earn. I hate everything I have.

"I don't have anything left. Even my own body," Colby went on, pulling his shoulder blades back. "They marked it with their ink from hell, as if I was their property." He sighed. "I'm glad no one seems to know about all the meanings it holds."

"Well I can relate to that," said Jake with a painful smile, laying his hand where his October tattoo marked his right thigh.

"Yeah," said Colby. "And you're lucky none of your fans asked any question about it."

He lowered his voice and looked up at his friend. "Do you ever think about what will happen if they ever find out ?"

"Of course I do," Jake replied, looking down at his intertwined fingers. "All of us do. That's one of the main things that makes my anxiety come back... What haunts me most about it is that, they still have the footage of our admission ritual. Which means somebody could find it one day... And when it happens, our lives will be over."

"But until that day comes," Jake went on, "which I think and hope it never will, you really should try to find a way to put this aside. This is all part of our life now, but it doesn't mean that you have to ruin it. It's already been three years, Colby..."

"Exactly ! It's been three years ! Three years that I've been searching for something without any success. Nothing is ever enough ! How can you expect me to ever find anything after that ?"

"You will find a solution, Colby. If all of us did, then so will you. I swear to you, you won't to stay like this forever. Trust me."

Colby shifted his gaze from his feet to the people around him, his eyes already watery. He watched the children playing innocently in the distance, the boys playing volleyball. He wished he was like them.

The two friends stayed on the beach in silence until the sun had already set, the last glimpses of mauve and crimson sinking below the horizon.

"It's getting late," Jake said, when the sky was finally completely dark. "We need to go home."

He stood up, and Colby followed, unfolding his hoodie and putting it back on, then they started walking back to the road. Colby felt the usual pang as his feet left the soft sandy ground.

"My car is parked in that street, Jake said, gesturing to his left. "I'm driving you home."

"No you're not," replied Colby. "I want to walk."

Jake was so surprised that he involuntarily stopped in his tracks.

"Are you serious ?"

"What ? I did it on the way over."

"But this makes it even worse ! Don't you realise the condition you're in now ? That's at least 12 miles, Colby ! There's no way you'll make it home in one piece, I swear."

"I told you, Jake. I don't care. Now if you want to do me a favour, just leave me alone."

Jake stared mouth agape as he watched his friend trudge away under the street lights. He tried to say something again, but there was no reasoning him. Colby had taken his decision.

The wind was blowing stonger now, and the brown haired boy had to put even more effort in his steps as he staggered through the crowded boulevard. He had bowed his head and pulled his hood onto his face, the usual habit to avoid being recognised; but today, his headache was so bad that it was making him dizzy, and after running into enough people, he decided to take it off.

Now that he could see the street and road in front of him, he noticed a bright red car pull up on the side of the road about twenty meters ahead. At first, he didn't give it much thought, but when it moved again as he reached it and went to pull up twenty more feet away, and repeated the process thrice, he started to become suscpisious. Are they following me ? And why does the car look familiar ? He asked his slowed down mind.

It suddenly hit him, and Colby immediately dashed towards the vehicle. The driver rolled down the passenger window as he stopped in front of it.

"Jake ! I asked you to leave me alone !" Colby yelled.

"I won't, Colby," Jake said. "If you don't want me to drive you, then I'll follow you until you get home. I can't let you go on your own."

Colby took a deep breath, seriously annoyed by his friend's overprotectiveness. Why can't he just let me be ? It was at times like this that he realised he really had gotten accustomed to the loneliness.

"Just leave me alone, okay ?"

With that, he returned to the sidewalk and resumed his stagger through the crowd.

But when Jake started his car again and went to pull up twenty more meters away, Colby couldn't take it anymore. He gathered all the energy he had, darted towards the next corner of the street on his right and into an alley, and started sprinting as fast as he could until he was at least two avenues away. At least, now Jake wouldn't find him.

Colby took a break to catch his breath, leaning his back against the nearest wall, his hands on his face. It was taking him much longer to recover than it normally would after a run. When he tried to open his eyes, his whole vision was blurry, and when he tried standing on his own, his head started spinning, a sharp pain went through his stomach, his legs couldn't carry him anymore, and he collapsed in a heap on the ground.

_________

Fun fact, in case you didn't know : Saturn means Satan to Satanists. Google it.

Next chapter coming soon :)