1.1 | When In Rome ✓

06 | healing

0 6

h e a l i n g

They were at Alan's hotel room this time because he let his friend borrow his car and couldn't drive.

Olivia and Alan were both sitting on the bed, and she was trying to convince herself to accept that Jackson was part of her past, and she needed to stop worrying about it. That was much easier said than done. 

This time, repeating the phrase didn't help, because Olivia couldn't concentrate as much. She was getting too distracted by every single ugly thought going through my head. Telling herself that even though it wasn't her fault, she should have handled the situation better, she shouldn't have Alan have to deal with someone as emotionally broken as her and everything just kept going in a swirling downhill of negative thoughts. 

"What's on your mind, Livs?" Alan asked, leaning forward, his elbows pressed to his knees. 

And without even realizing it, Olivia started talking, spilling every single thought that was going through her head. Ranting about how life was unfair, how Jackson didn't deserve to die, talking about how unfair it was that everything was going downwards like this when something soft that tasted like mint was pressed against her lips. 

Almost instinctively, she stopped talking and Olivia's hands went up around his arms, then his shoulders, then his upper back to the nape of his neck, mentally mapping everything out. Her eyes were closed in pure bliss, and she could lightly make out his silhouette. 

It had the same feeling as going up a roller coaster for her. It was going up and up and up until suddenly, Olivia was free-falling, her stomach doing flips as she kept falling, deeper and deeper. They were both absorbed in the kiss, grabbing and clinging to each other like vines, wrapped up in the kiss, blocking out the rest of their surroundings.

Olivia had never felt this way. 

She'd never felt this alive.

Alan was the first person to ever make her feel this way. Every nerve in her body was heightened, her senses tingling with adrenaline, sending warmth from her head to her toes.

After they both needed air, they came up gasping, their breaths mingling, and their eyes meeting each others. His green-blue eyes were tinged with happiness, and a bit of guilt and longing. He was the first one to snap out of it, while Olivia kept staring in shock. 

"Um." He started, and she let her hands leave his neck. "That was something I'd been wanting to do for a while." 

Suddenly, the gravity of what she'd just done, of what she'd enjoyed doing, hit her like a truck, and Olivia quickly stood up before grabbing her sunglasses. "I, um, need to go." 

Alan winced at her reaction before he stood up, stuffing his hands into his pockets sheepishly. Olivia grabbed her purse and started for the door. 

"Goodbye, Ol-" The door slammed after her, as she ran down the hall to the elevator, wiping the tears from her cheeks, before Alan even got to finish his sentence. "-ivia."