Family Ties

Chapter Seventeen

It's been three days since Harry told me the truth about our breakup, I have been thinking about it constantly and have analysed every word Harry said to me. Now I understand why he broke up with me, why he left everything behind. All these years I have been blaming him, at some point I even thought he was the most horrible person on earth, everything what went wrong in my life was his fault because he broke my heart. While in reality Harry was pushed into a corner, he was pressured in making a decision what he thought what was best for me and by my own brother of all people. I understand why Harry decided to handle it like this but I have to admit I, probably would have handled it another way. I'm more selfish than Harry, I think I would have told Jonas it's not his business and to stay out of it and I would have discussed it but I know it's useless to think about it, it has happened and we don't get a second try.
Harry knew how much I suffered after father died, he was right there, watching, supporting and holding Jonas and me. I don't know if we would have gotten through it without him.

I have been laying in my bed for the last twenty four hours, I don't have the energy to get up and I also don't have a reason to get up. Yesterday everything changed, nothing will be the same.
"Eve?" I hear a knock at my door but I don't answer and hide my head under my pink sheets, I don't want to see anybody. Unfortunately I hear the door of my bedroom open and the squeaking of the dark wooden floor of my bedroom tells me someone is coming in. I feel the mattress behind me dip and a hand start to caress my sheet covered back.
"Eve, love?" I release a breath, I didn't know I was holding when I recognize Harry's raspy voice and I'm glad it is him and not mother or Jonas. I can't handle seeing them right now, especially Jonas. When saw him last night, he was broken and felt so guilty. He told me he deserved to die instead of father, it scared me so much that I send Harry a message to ask if he would keep an eye on Jonas. I can't do it myself at the moment but I'm scared when the guilt becomes too much, he will do something what makes him end up with father.
"Eve, I know you aren't sleeping. I saw you hiding your head when I entered the room." I roll my eyes at myself for not being fast enough. I have been crying a lot and probably look like shit at the moment but I still come out under my sheets and show myself to Harry.
"Hi love, your mother told me you are in here for a long time now. Maybe we should go outside, let me make some sandwiches and we'll go to the lake to eat them while we watch the ducks." Harry says but I'm not in the mood to go outside or to eat or to do anything so I shake my head. He sighs in defeat, his eyes are swollen and red too, I know he has been crying and has a difficult time himself. Harry liked father, Jonas, Harry and dad often go golfing and fishing together.
"You have to eat something, Eve." Harry says while he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I'm not hungry." I croak out, I haven't said a lot to anyone since yesterday and my voice sounds gravelly.
"Your dad wouldn't want you to starve yourself, if he was here he would tell you to go downstairs and eat." Harry pushes my buttons. My eyes fill with tears while my button lip start to shake.
"But that's just it, Father isn't here anymore." I whisper, tears fill my eyes and look away from Harry, I don't want Harry to see me like this.
"I'm alone now." I say silently, still not looking at Harry. "Mother is... mother and Jonas, Have you seen him? I don't think he will ever get over this." Tears run down my cheeks.
"Come here." Harry says and opens his arms. I sit up, wipe my cheeks witht the back of my hand before I put my head on Harry's strong shoulder and my arms around his waist.
"I know it all looks very bad now, now your father..." Harry hesitates to say the words out loud. "Now your father died, everything will be different and it will be hard but you are not alone, you have me and I will always do what is best for you and Jonas. He is in a bad place right now and yes he will be for some time but he will get better. He loves you and he will never leave you." Harry says before he kisses my head. While I sit there my body pressed against Harry's hard, warm body I finally manage to relax and with a feeling that we all will be okay, I drift off to sleep.

Now I think of it, Harry always has been there for me, protecting me and like he said he would always do what's he thinks what's best for me, that's exactly what he did when he broke up with me.

After an afternoon on the beach with my steaming hot novel, I walk back to the house. It's a hot day and I really am enjoying the fresh breeze that just came up while I brush all the sand from my body before I enter the house. The back door is wide open what tells me someone is home, I step up the steps of the porch and enter the beach house. Assuming it's Harry who is home I sing
"Honey, I'm home!" when go inside. I look around the living room and kitchen but don't see or hear anyone, he is probably upstairs. Thirsty from the hot weather I walk to the fridge, silently singing some new song I heard on the radio earlier. I open the fridge and bend down when I feel two hands on my hips, I freeze and immediately am scared and can't move.
"You are okay, it's just one of the boys" the voice in the back of my head tries to reassure me and I know she is right but still have a hard time shake it off. I often have nightmares that I'm standing somewhere and suddenly feel hands on my body, when I turn around arseface is behind me so when Harry or Jonas try to scare me like this, it freaks me out. I take a bottle of water while I take a breath and slowly turn around.
"Jonas... You almost gave me a heart attack." I say I a cold tone, I don't look at him. He doesn't notice and laughs
"To get a heart attack you need a heart, you only have a stone in your chest." Jonas laughs, I know he is teasing me but I'm not in the mood for his jokes. I glare at him but don't say a word.
Especially in moments like this I have to bite my tongue and really do my best not to yell at him that it's his fault I have a stone.

"I guess it runs in the family" I eventually say when I open my bottle of water and take a swig.
"I'm going to shower." I say and start to walk of to the stairs. I have promised Harry to act normal and say nothing about what he did and I'm really trying to act the same as before I knew all this.
"Hi..." Jonas stops me, I turn around and raise my eyebrows.
"I forgot to tell you. Once a month we have a beach party at the bar and it's tonight. Do you want to come?" I think for a minute, it has been ages that I went out to a party, arseface didn't allow me to go out without him so a night out sounds fun to dance.
"Wow... You are asking me on time." I say sarcastic.
"Is Harry coming to the party or is he only there to work?" I don't think I am able to spend an evening alone with Jonas right now. I try to hide it but I'm so pissed at him, what in the world was he thinking when he threatened Harry to break up with me? I understand that he was shocked and angry at first, we should have told him about our relationship sooner. If he would have heard it from us maybe he would have gotten used to it? I just can't understand why he didn't want Harry and me together, Harry is his best friend, Jonas knows him inside and out, of course Harry got flaws but nobody is perfect. What can be so wrong with him that he can't be with me? Or maybe it's the other way around, maybe it is Jonas who want to protect Harry from me.
"Harry is working tonight. Normally he will be off at midnight but he our parties are very popular and he probably will work longer." I nod my head, a little bummed Harry is working. I'm actually looking forward to spend time with Harry, I don't like to admit it but I have missed his company, our talks and fun.
"Thank you for asking but I think I'm going to pass. I'm actually a bit tired" I say.
"So you will only come if Harry is there? Am I not good enough?" I laugh awkward, not sure how to react.
"Erm... Of course you are good enough." I roll my eyes. "But you probably get called away a couple of times and when Harry is working I will be alone and probably feel like I don't belong there" I say truthfully but don't mention the part what says I don't want to spend time with him because I'm furious at him. What bothers me the most is that Jonas made Harry run away and after awhile he decided to leave too and while I get his reasons for moving, it still gives a bitter taste in my mouth. He made sure that I was all alone, he knew how mother is and he knew how I felt about her and still he didn't even think about me when he made his decision to move to Spain. He made up with Harry, they called weekly but he never bothered to call and make things up with me.
"Don't worry, I was teasing." Jonas laughs. "But without Harry and me around, maybe you can make some new friends?" I nod, I know he is right but I am not in the right place to make new friends.

"I know but I'm really exhausted. I'm going to shower, eat something while I watch Supernatural and get an early night" I say with a tight lipped smile.
"I'm off to the bar in fifteen minutes, I will have a busy couple of days but come to the bar whenever you want. Okay?" my brother says. I turn around and wave, not wanting to say more to him before I go upstairs as fast as I can.

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All the love,
K. x