Beasts: Diary Entries of Unspoken words

Eugene (Tiresias)

In all due time

I'm not sure how I ended up in this situation,or rather I have no idea that things would have such a drastic change in each other. I just wanted to be famous,I wanted to live the life. I always admired the loud music,the thought of paparazzi following me made my heart swell with joy. But there was only one damned problem with that exactly. In this day and age,who would want a blind idol? 

I hated the term 'disabled' I can still hear all of you. Although sometimes I wished I didn't have to,the obnoxious laughter and chatter makes me want to slam pencils in my eardrums. I still have emotions and I'm not mentally repaired either. In fact I bet I could beat any of them in a heartbeat when it comes to academics. But I was treated like the plague. The bullying had reached its maximum at the end of of my middle school life. I was spun and slammed into a painted wall. I didn't have one clue what it said,I could hear their daunting laughter down the hall. Some even asked if I could read it aloud for them. Unfortunately for me, paint doesn't read in braille. But I knew what the intentions it had,afterall I was slammed into it for the love of God. After that incident I was sent into homeschooling but it frustrated me to no end. It still does on one of my dull rainy days. The laughs taunt and nag at me in the bag of my head. Even more so nowadays,without anyone else visiting me with the exception of my teachers and occasional visits of servants to make sure I'm still alive it gets quiet. Deadly quiet,although that may sound ideal to some people,to me it feels like a sentence worse than death. That was when I started talking to myself. Although at first, it was nothing but soft murmurs it transitioned into something a little more severe. The sound of a real human voice often startled me to no end. The quiet life of mine started to become dull and daunting. Something like me if I were to guess. Blonde,boring and blind. 

On a particular day I was resting outside,leaning against the trunk of the tree and thinking to myself. Sometimes I simply forgot to close my eyes when I was thinking blissfully to myself, I could tell it was a beautiful day. I didn't have to see to know that, I could feel the sunshine warm my body and the occasional breeze that will go by bringing along the scent of freshly cut grass and flowers. It was one of those few days where I could get my peace without obsessing over my lost of the sense I lacked. I was babbling to myself in soft whispers, and I must have spooked one of the house's gardeners. I suppose he thought I was possessed or the devil,sitting there with my eyes open and whispering to myself like a crazy person I would too. He was a pretty religious fellow so I wouldn't blame him. I brushed the man aside and his sermons in his native tongue to go back inside and instead sit on the bench for the piano. It's one of my most prized possessions if I was honest. I couldn't tell you what color the instrument is but I can tell you the sounds of all the keys in order and specific order. I'm more familiar with it then my own body,it's become a part of me.  And there are other days where I'm rediscovering the sounds all over again. I imagine a world where I'm not the only blind one around. Where everyone else is blind too,but it never lasts long. My mind has this cruel mechanism that likes to torture me,I find that once everyone else is blind that I'm the only one with sight. And the sense becomes a curse rather than a gift. Times like these makes my existence hurts and more than it usually does. The blissful moments where mother takes me out on excursions to the city,I feel alive like everyone else. I don't feel so awkward or out of place. My head servant leads me throughout the busy streets and explains the street vendors and the occasional person with an eye seeing dog leading a normal fulfilling lives. And in return I can smell the things he describes,the hot dogs being served or the sweet caramel like smell of nuts being made there as well. The voices blend in together along with the sounds of cars and the unwelcome smell of the sewers,urine and gas as well,in a bustling city like that it's hard not to feel included in everything and pulled into the city's inviting and fast paced lifestyle. My other senses overwhelm me and if for just a moment I forget that I'm trapped in a prison of my own design. 

That was the last time I was in the city before I was to  be sent off to university. As a gift from my mother I was allowed two whole weeks in the city of my dreams. She knew how it made me happy and eccentric. The sounds and smells pulled me out of my often depressive stupor that plagued my being. I was in one of my usual dazes that the city had pulled me into,with my eyes closed I could almost imagine the bright lights that people had often  described to me numerous times. I knew it was no use,I never had seen color in the first place and it was hard to imagine something I never imagined,and instead related it to the burns you would get on a hot surface. Opening my eyes this time, was something I never experienced in my life. I could see the city,and I could see the illumination of the city against the water through window. It was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined in my existence,a multitude of colors overwhelmed my never before sense that my other four senses slackened a bit at it. My hearing failed me and I knew that clearly when I felt a sudden cold hand placed on my left shoulder. At this,I jolted. It was hard for me to recognize him or even describe him. All these colors were left colorless because I was never exposed to them. I sat there gaping like an idiot,mouth hanging open. I sucked in this appearance and everything else I could at the moment. Even at my own hands and arms. I wouldn't have even know what race orr hair color I would have if it wasn't for other people telling me. The colors I could only identify properly were blond and blue in accordance to my own appearance which I later identified in a mirror which I gaped at for a solid hour. "Are you okay there? You seemed really startled." One thing which I could identify was that this man was definitely not human by the fact that I suddenly wasn't blind as a bat or that he had wings. They were impossibly too realistic and he shifted them every so often or they seemed real enough for me. Though I wasn't too concerned about that,my formerly useless eyes were welling up with tears. I couldn't believe it. It was too hard to  believe, I could see. 

The male held a warm smile I noticed,once I calmed down about thirty minutes later. He had been kind enough to offer a handkerchief for my tears and oddly had a small chart that informed me of colors and the words underneath. It was definitely a step up from braille.  On closer expectation,his wings had a combination of a warm type of red and brown mixed in his features. If he had any ill intentions I couldn't see it,not a thing. "Would you..like to see all the time?" The brunette asked me,kneeling besides me where I was childishly studying the different shades of blue. "What-what shade is my hair?" I asked him hesitantly,out of the blue,it was hard to keep my eyes open and at bright colors for so long,I simply wasn't used to them yet. "It's this one,it's a nice color too,I wish I had it." The person pointed out a Russian blonde color that made me smile a bit in response.

 The other person took this as a yes,tilting back my head tenderly and pulled out an eyedropper to which he applied to my eyes. It eased the tension on them which I was grateful for. "Yes...and thank you." My voice came out in a shameful whisper,in a split second decision I had hugged the other tightly to hide the new tears that had formed once more.  "But first you just have to do one thing okay? It's only going to hurt a little bit but please...trust me on this?" His eyes were hopeful and in his cupped hands he took out this dark green pill. It looked questionable, but then again so was everything else that was happening. And at that,I took it and gulped it down.

Unicorn were questionable and so was the existence of ghosts along with absurd.  Sure,I deserved it, I did take a questionable pill and hallucinations were a given but these seemed so real and the fact that they lasted only a minute long had me reeling. The person was patiently sitting there and held out a small earring. It look quite dazzling in itself and the outside was made of pure silver. "Here,this will connect you to me when I need you Mister Seer. But for now,have fun. That's what us Beasts do. And oh,just call for Saint when you need guidance." The brunette winked at me in a playful manner before he took his subtle leave by leaving through the window.

I knew I should have called the police.