In The Wings (Chris Evans FanFic)✅

Broken, Just Broken

Somethings wrong. I sat up in the bed. Reaching over for my husband but remembering he was in New York for a long weekend for a press event. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself but no, something was definitely wrong. I grabbed my phone and called Kirsten before rushing to the bathroom.

3 hours later I laid on my side in a hospital bed not facing the door so I could just stare at the gray walls of the small room. Kirsten sat in the chair opposite of the bed not saying anything just simply sitting with me. I had lost the baby. I was one day shy of 12 weeks. Almost out of the first trimester. And my world was shook. I didn't have any tears left inside so I just laid staring at the wall wishing Chris would get there sooner. I felt him enter the room before I even heard him. Kirsten gave him a small smile.

"Bree, Chris is here. I'm going to go grab another coffee." She said to me gently.

I continued to stare at the wall. Chris walked around to the other side of the bed and knelt in front of me.

"Babe." His voice broke and I could see the glisten of tears in his eyes.

He reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I stayed motionless. I wasn't even sure why. I had wanted him there so badly but now I just felt empty. I couldn't even bare to look at my stomach. I was mad at my body and I grieved my lost baby.

"Apparently I'm broken." I choked out the words forcing back the tears that I was now suddenly replenished with.

"What?" Chris's brows knitted in confusion.

"That's why I lost the baby. Something inside of me isn't.....right." I tried not to sob. "They said it's likely I will miscarry again."

"Baby, don't think about that right now." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. Chris looked up as someone else entered the room.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Collins, Chris?" The doctor crossed the room to shake Chris's hand.

"Yeah, I'm the father-" He cleared his voice, "Her husband. Can I speak with you in the hall?" He pointed towards the door.

I zoned out but heard the term incompetent cervix, and squeezed my eyes shut tight. I could hear Chris asking more questions, but I pulled the pillow over my ears. I didn't want to hear the doctor tell Chris how I would most likely never be able to carry a child to full term. How I would never be able to give him his own child. How I was broken.

"Bree." Chris stepped back in the room. He gently moved the pillow from my ears. Taking his thumb, he swiped away the tears that had stained my cheek. "They said we can go home in the morning."

I nodded silently.

He chewed on his lip before bending down and kissing my forehead again. He then grabbed the chair that Kirsten had sat in earlier and pulled it up to the bed. Taking my hand in his, he sat gently stroking the hair behind my ear until I eventually fell asleep.

"Knock knock. You up for company?" Kirsten stuck her head in my bedroom door 2 days later.

Once I had gotten home from the hospital I had climbed in my bed and not moved. Chris barely left my side. Canceling all off his press events for a family emergency. He was now in his office trying to rearrange his schedule for the next couple weeks.

"Hi." I said my voice hollow.

"I brought chicken teriyaki." She held up the bag from my favorite Japanese place.

"I'm not hungry." I pulled my comforter up and turned over on my side.

"OK I'll put it in the fridge." She gave me a small smile.

A few minutes later she came back in my room. Kicking off her shoes she climbed in the bed next to me.

"Bree."

I didn't answer.

"I know you're hurting. And I can't begin to imagine the pain you're in. But you are not alone." She squeezed my arm.

I didn't reply.

"I'm 100% ok with just sitting with you." She whispered laying down, she hugged me.

1 Week Later

I adjusted the shoulder of the blouse I had slid on staring at my reflection in the mirror.

"You're up." Chris looked startled.

"I have to return to work at some point." I said my eyes not meeting his in the mirror.

"I know but you still have another week." He pointed out gently.

"I can't sit in that bed any longer."

"Ok." Chris came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders with his hands. "Let me take you to work today."

"I'm fine!" I snapped.

Chris winced but didn't stop rubbing my shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

"It's ok." He reassured me. "You don't have to apologize."

I didn't say anything.

"But I think you should talk about it. It doesn't have to be with me." He added quickly.

"I lost the baby. I can't carry another one. End of story. Nothing to talk about."

"Bree." He started softly.

"I need to go. I'll be late." I turned and left the bedroom.

Work was intolerable. I couldn't stand all the sympathy I was receiving. It just made me unable to think of anything else. I made it till after lunch before packing up my stuff and going home. Once home I did what had become my new normal, climb in bed and stare at the wall till sleep found me.

Around 6:30 that evening I woke up and forced myself to climb out of bed. I could hear Chris talking on the phone as I neared the kitchen. I stopped just outside the kitchen listening to his conversation.

"Mom, I just don't know what to do. She won't talk to anyone. She's not ok and I can't help her. Not to mention that I too am mourning the baby. But I feel like I'm losing Bree too."

My brain told me to go into the kitchen and comfort my husband who I had selfishly, but not intentionally, left to grieve on his own.

But my feet turned and walked back into the bedroom back to the familiar dip in the bed where I once again lay quietly.

That night when Chris came to bed was the first night his arms didn't slip around my waist pulling me close to him. Instead he turned on his side away from me with a sigh and drifted off to sleep.