My Son

41

A scream was heart from Changkyuns room. Kihyun and Hyunwoo rushed as fast as they could to see what was wrong. The toddler was asleep. He was moving around and scratching the air. Kicking nothing but blankets and mattress. "Stay away from me." He yelled. Kihyun started bawling. He didn't know what was wrong with his baby. "H-Hyunwoo d-d-do something."

The oldest went to Changkyun and sat him up. Trying to wake him from his nightmare. "Changkyun wake up." He begged and shook. "Wake up!" Changkyun scratched at the older cutting open his skin a little. Hyunwoo didn't care. All he cared about was Changkyuns safety. "Eomma." The toddler growled. "I want my eomma."

"Go tell Hoseok to call Dr.Wang." Hyunwoo demanded. Kihyun was frozen, he didn't know what to do. "Kihyun now." He yelled over Changkyuns screams. Kihyun finally snapped out of it and ran out of the room with his crutches. Hyunwoo thought if he stood the toddler up he'd wake up. So he tried it and he stopped screaming. His body fell to the ground as if it weighed over a hundred pounds.

"Appa what happened to your arm." The toddler mumbled rubbing his eyes. Hyunwoo was shocked. "Y-You don't remember what just happened." The toddler shook his head and frowned. "Did you fall off the chair. What happened to my bed." Hyunwoo picked Changkyun up and hugged him tight. "Eomma why do you look so scared." Hyunwoo turned around and saw Kihyun. "Hamster it's okay. He's not hurt or anything." He motioned for the younger to come over.

Kihyun did and sat on the bed. "Y-Your bleeding." He stuttered. Hyunwoo was about to say something when Hyungwon showed up out of breath. "Dr.Wang will be here soon. He's coming as fast as he can...Is he okay." Hyunwoo nodded when Kihyun tried to stutter out a 'yeah'. The red head held on tight to his baby. "Hyungwon could you watch them. I-I have to take care of my arm." The tall man nodded and walked in.

Sitting down on a chair next to Changkyuns bed. Hyunwoo got up and quickly left. He entered the bathroom and took a deep breath turning on the fossett. He knew exactly what happened to Changkyun. He remembered when he was younger and experienced it. He'd attacked his mother the same. He knew it ran in families and hoped it would never happen to his kids. Night Terrors.

He punched the mirror shattering it in pieces and cutting his knuckle. He picked up one of the broken glass pieces that had fallen into the sink and held it in his hand. Starring at it he didn't blink or move just looked at it. His reflection was so broken. Then crushed it in his fist. There was pain, lots of it but he didn't care. It helped with his anger towards himself. He let it build up for so long and finally felt relief. He watched as the blood trickled and dripped from his fist into the sink.

Gripping tighter his arm started to shake. The relief didn't last long he wanted to feel it again, fresher. So he grabbed another piece in his other hand. Much bigger and crushed it. He closed his eyes and sighed while looking up and smiled. The sink was painted red and so was his hands. The numbness was addicting and he knew it. He craved it, from day one.

"Hyunwoo what are you doing." Kihyun had snapped him from his thoughts as he grabbed his arm to see what he was doing. The younger gasped and backed up holding his hand over his mouth. His gut twisting and turning in unevenness. "K-Kihyun it's not what it looks like." Hyunwoo tried to reach for him but his palms hurt. He looked and saw how bloody they were. Shocked and scared of himself.

Hyunwoo fell back and slit to the floor with the wall behind him. The red head hugged him tight cutting him off. How could he do such a thing. Kihyun was already in so much pain and stress. He didn't need more. So he just sat there and sighed again. "Why would you do that." Kihyun sniffled. Hyunwoo didn't know what to say. 'It felt good'. That was a terrible excuse. It was true though. It felt wonderful. The glass cutting into his skin. Pain versus anger, they cancelled each other out.

He wished he could do it again and again. "Dr.Wang already checked up on Changkyun. He wanted to talk to you before he left." He already checked up on Changkyun. How long was he standing there looking in the mirror. When did he break it. "H-How long was I in here." The older asked. "An hour or so." There was a knock on the door. It opened revealing the doctor.

"How was your- oh no." The doctor rushed over and examined his hands. "I thought you were done doing this to yourself. What's happening to Changkyun is not your fault. Let me bandage your hands before they get infected. Changkyun is sound asleep. I gave him some tea to calm him down." He grabbed some things from his bag. "Mr.Yoo could you please step out while I tend to Mr.Sohns wounds."

The younger shook his head. Not wanting to leave his boyfriend alone. "It's okay Kihyunnie. I don't want you seeing this." The older thought for a moment. "Could you make me some breakfast. I'm pretty hungry and light headed." The younger still protested. His head not leaving Hyunwoos chest. "I-I can't be alone right now. N-Neither can you."

"Mr.Yoo can stay but I'll need him to sit down over there until I am finished. Mr.Sohn please open your hands. I need to see how deep the glass is." The older sighed and shakily opened them. Kihyun refused to move away from Hyunwoo. Afraid of what could happen. It took about half an hour for all the glass to be removed. Hyunwoo had sat down so Kihyun could rest his leg.

After cleaning and bandaging the doctor left. Kihyun was asleep in Hyunwoos chest. Tear stains down his cheeks. The older didn't want to wake him so he just carried him to the room. Changkyun was sound asleep on Hyunwoos side curled up in the blankets. A small cup of half dranken tea placed on the bed desk. "I'm sorry." Hyunwoo mumbled. He brushed the youngers hair out of his face and kissed his forehead.

"Hyunwoo wh-why did you do it. The doctor said he thought you were done. Meaning y-you've done it before. Y-You remember when I was younger. H-How I-I did it...why would you do it. Be honest with me." Kihyuns eyes were watery. He stared into Hyunwoos looking for answers. The older nodded and sat down on the bed desk. "The feeling." He looked at his bandaged hands.

"It's addicting."