FALLEN (NOW PUBLISHED ON AMAZON)

58.

The boys are gone and I still can't move. Even though I really thought I was doing the right thing, it ended up hurting more people in the end. I never wanted that. I feel so sorry for everything I've done to Sophie, to Lucas and to Ash.

My phone vibrates, it's the only reason why I move. It's Mace. I don't know if it calms me down or if it makes me feel more remorseful. I sigh deeply and try to collect myself. Sophie needs my help. This isn't about my feelings. I can't begin to imagine how she must be feeling if I'm all shook up.

I get up and respond to Marcel that I'll be down in five minutes, in time for our first interview of the afternoon.

I knock at the door and get in without even waiting for a response. I hear noise in the room and I immediately look in front of me at the moving images of the telly. I walk in deeper and turn to my left to see my friend laying on the bed with her arms crossed.

I look at her without knowing what to do. I fight my own struggle to realise that she must need a best friend more than anything right now. So I walk to her bed and offer her my arms wide open. She rolls her eyes, but gives me a little smile before obliging.

"How do you feel?" I ask her as she parts from me and straightens herself against the headboard of the bed.

She sighs in annoyance and highs her eyebrows before shaking her head.

"I'm sick of them acting so reckless all the time. I'm done always forgiving Lou when he doesn't deserve it. You want to be a rockstar, then be one without me."

"You don't mean that..."

"I'm sick of being taken for granted. He's being so juvenile. I want him to succeed, I love his music, but not what fame is making him become."

"Ash told me he's using because he misses you so much."

"That's no excuse. He misses me so he gets high and doesn't call me. Bullshit!"

"If I'm understanding correctly, you just gave him an ultimatum."

"Yes."

"You're lucky only Ash got sick the other night. I've seen worst from them."

"You've mentioned the Metallica incident." I step forward and take a seat on the bed next to her, getting very curious about their past.

"Yeah.... They are so impressionable. They opened for Metallica and that's where it all began. Lucas tripped so hard, he spent all the money of the band on a motorcycle. 20 000 pounds. He doesn't even have his motorcycle licence!"

"Oh lord..."

"I can't begin to tell you all the things they've done under the influence, Grace. I know you haven't had it easy with Steeve, but neither did I. Lucas cheated on me too. He's never been physically violent, but he said regretful things he has apologised for many times. I forgave him, but I never forgot. Now that they are back at it again, I don't want to live that again. I love Lou, but he has to stop or I'm out."

I look at her as if I was seeing her for the first time, because it's true. She's been doubtful of Marcel, jealous when a girl flirted with Lucas at the bar, I can all understand why now. She's been traumatised by what happened and she doesn't want it to happen again either to her or to me.

"I love him, Grace. So much. But sometimes love is not enough." She sighs and tells me. I shiver and realise how true it is, how powerfully it applies to what I've experienced with Mace.

My phone vibrates, but I ignore it until it never stops and I realise it's a call and not a text. I take it out of my pocket and look up at Soph. She nods and I answer it.