Trickster Gone Soft [Completed]

Realisation and Denial

This is by far my favourite chapter! And after this the plot thickens (hoohoohahah)😂 anyway read it. Tell me what you think.
Thank you so much btw to all those people who are reading and voting for trickster gone soft! It may not be much but it's a lot lot to me!

Yes yes I'm done! Happy reading 😊

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Night had fallen now and everyone was asleep. Loki however, lay awake on his mat, arms behind his head, thinking about the day's events.

All the volunteers along with Loki had loaded their mini-trucks with food and clean water, returned to the camp and distributed it. Loki had spent his entire day with them, helping with the distribution, going around talking to the victims, trying to contact or locate their separated family members or friends. All the volunteers had been hard at work, the entire day. He had got to know them better too.

Whenever they split up in two's to do different tasks, he was always paired up with Carene. Carene had shown him how do get things done- like changing the dressing on wounds and basic first aid. She had also told him that when consoling people, it was okay if he couldn't relate to what they were sharing with him- it was enough to listen. It meant a lot to people that there was somebody who cared enough to listen. Telling the victims that as volunteers, they would do what they could and then going and doing it- whether or not they succeeded, was good enough.

He wasn't able to get anymore information about her past life, but he had gotten to know her. He realised that she was a mystery, probably even to herself. She didn't trust easily, probably had quite a few secrets that she kept from everyone, and probably many more unanswered questions about her life itself. Yet she didn't let that stop her from achieving, what she believed was her purpose- helping others- "doing her bit", she had called it. She was passionate about her work and compassionate towards the people she helped. She loved so freely, yet- Loki wondered why- she didn't allow herself to be loved. She didn't let anyone in.

His thoughts then drifted to his conversation with her in the truck. He had realised that neither flattery, nor lying to her, was going to get him anywhere, so he had decided to be honest with her and telling her about his rejection by his family. He had thought she would pity him- and seeing him as a vulnerable, harmless person, she would let him in on whatever she was hiding.

But when he had looked at her after he had told her this, he had seen such powerful emotion in her eyes. It wasn't pity, it was something entirely different. And he didn't want to think of what it was, because it unnerved him. It wasn't supposed to, but it did.  Ofcourse she had tried to hide it when she noticed him looking, but she hadn't been fast enough.

Do you allow yourself to be loved, Lesley?  She had asked him.

No. If he were to be honest, he did not allow himself to be loved. It was too dangerous. And it meant nothing. It was an empty promise meant to be broken. He had realised this after his family who had claimed to love him, had turned out to be lying to him all those years....
Was that the reason why Carene too didn't let herself be loved? Was that why she too didn't trust easily? Had someone hurt or betrayed her?

While Loki was processing all these thoughts, he realised that he found
himself getting angry. It made him angry to think that someone had hurt Carene! He felt like stabbing that person to death with his knife!
Then he stopped himself...why was he feeling that way? She meant nothing to him! Nothing. NOTHING! Right?
Well...she was meant to mean nothing to him. But now he wasn't certain- for starters, how was he to explain his anger at someone who may have hurt her? He didn't know what to think, so he pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind and decided to focus on his mission. He couldn't let these thoughts distract him.