The Mob Princess

Arrivederci-Brooklyn

He sat on the bed as I packed I was hoping and praying for him to say something and sign he wanted me, wanted me to stay instead all I got was silence. I sat on the phone with Gianna making plans for when I arrived home, I tried to make it seem like I was happy to be getting back to my normal life but in actuality I wasnt. Over these weeks I have started to develop true feelings for Joe feelings Ive never experienced before, it was scary and exciting all at the same time but now it was over, I have to go back home play the role be Anthony Gravinos daughter loved to be feared but that wasnt me anymore. Joe brought out things in me I feared to let be seen I was able to be myself around him and he didnt judge me. I didnt have the bitch personna to maintain. Everytime I would let it slip he check it just as quick till finally he made me realize that my personna wasnt me, I wasnt Brooklyn the hard ass nails bitch that thrived on being feared, I was Brook the girl who loved nothing more than curling up on the couch watching a movie with Joe with Duke next to me cuddling.

We pulled up to the airport and I used every single ounce of power in me to not cry and I turned that switch and forced myself into Brooklyn mode to try to not let it show how much it was hurting me to leave. I know I was just another job to him that the feelings I had for him he didnt feel the same, maybe everything that he said to me about our night together was the truth maybe to him it was a mistake. A liquor fueled night of passion, to me it was so much more. When they called my flight was boarding I had to keep it short because if I didnt I would have fallen apart. He pulled me into him when I wrapped my arms around his neck to hug him goodbye and all I felt was sadness and broken heartedness knowing that this was the end. I couldnt help it I kissed him one final time and walked off never looking back.

I threw my bag in the overhead bin and fell into the seat. I grabbed my phone and plugged my headphones in scrolling through my playlist and finally hit play all I heard was

I shouldn't have walked away
I would've stayed if you'd say
We could've made everything okay, but we just
Threw the blame back and forth, we treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low, I'm still on the ground

I leaned my head against the glass and closed my eyes as the tears began to spill from my eyes. I looked at my phone at the picture of me an him that night at the club. I sighed and pulled up a text and typed in his number all I could say was Remember us this way and attached the picture. I hit send then the doubt hit. I was a job I fully expect in the next week he would completely forget me, I went in and immeditely blocked his number not wanting to see the rejection in his response text. 

The flight landed acouple hours later and I was met by my father, I was so happy to see him but still so heart broken that I had left Joe. Before I even knew what was going on I was ushered off to a waiting car driven by my "Uncle Vito". We drove straight home, I sat quitely in the back of the car as my father and Vito discussed family business and a situation that needed to be handled. Here I was back right in the middle of my fathers business activities like this wasnt the reason I had to be sent to Joe in the first place. We pulled up to the house and as soon as we stepped in my father and Vito locked themselfs in the office leaving me alone the only other person there was my grandmother who was in the kitchen cooking in anticipation for my arrival home. I stepped in,

"Grammy"

"Brookie miamor"

I walked up and she pulled me into a hug, there was something so comforting in it.

"Miamor how was your flight"

"it was alright"

"Brookie why do you look so sad my dear"

"its nothing grammy"

I couldnt help the tear that slipped out,

"Now Brookie I see that tear in your eye what is wrong my dear"

"its really nothing"

"if it was nothing you wouldnt be upset.

She turned to the counter making two plates of her shrimp Alferdo and quickly turned back placing on in front of me at the table. She sat quitely across from me,

"Now talk to me dear tell my why your so distressed"

"Grammy its just..."

"Brooklyn Natalya Gravino tell me what is wrong"

"its just well I was gone something happened"

"by your behavior I would bet its safe to say you met a young man"

"yes"

"Im assuming this young man was your bodyguard wasnt it"

"yes"

"you have feeling for this young man"

"yes Grammy".

I couldnt control it I broke down explaining everything to my grandmother except the night at the club. I cried and talked to my grandmother for a hour before I was so mentally and physically burnt out that I dragged myself upstairs to my room. I walked in switching on the light, everything was just how I left it, you would expect it be a welcome sight it just wasnt.  I dropped my bags next to the door and just wandered around my room it was like looking at a life I dont think I wanted anymore. I fell back against the bed and wondered what Joe was doing and if he missed me, because as tough as I am I can admit that I missed him.