A daughters love (Andrew Lincoln fanfic)

Forty four

I stood looking at Sawyer and I quickly realized that I was holding my breath, I breath out and I walk across the room and I pulled a chair with me and I sit down and I stare at him.

"You look different without the machines attached to you" I said before shaking my head at what I said. I sighed out before standing up and I start pacing back and forth at the end of the bed, a ton of emotions filled my body anger sadness betrayal and I didn't know how to handle any of it or express it.

"I know this is the last time I'm gonna ever see you, I'm never going to see you again" I said stopping pacing looking at Sawyer's lifeless body laying on the bed.
"I have no idea what to say to you" I said feeling tears building in my eyes "you-you apart from Ella kept me going for so long, the amount of times you found me at the park when mom and dad was fighting, you found a broken girl sitting on the swings and you put me back together every time" I said leaning on the end of the bed "now your gone, and I feel like a piece of me has gone too" I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes down my cheeks "I'm not sure how I'm going to get through life without you, I need my big brother, who's going to walk me down the aisle in a few months time" I asked him as I stare at him.

I stood there staring at him hoping this was a sick joke that Sawyer would sit up and laugh at me but he never, I stared at his chest waiting to see if I could see him breathing but nothing, no movement.
"Why?" I asked him "why did you have to leave me?" I asked him again "you told me so many times you would never leave me, that it's your job as a big brother to look after me, was that promise just bull crap?" I said walking back to my chair sitting down.

I sat there in silence for a little while just staring numb at my brothers lifeless body.
"Amy's right" I told Sawyer "it's my fault your gone, if I hadn't of called you that night, you wouldn't be laying there, it wouldn't be you it would be me, I know your probably saying Riley don't be silly, it's my job to look after you, but it wasn't your job to die for me, because now I've lost you Sawyer"

Just then the door opens and in walks a nurse and a guy who stood there, they both looked at me.
"We taking Sawyer down now" she said softly "We're taking him to the morgue" she said her voice was full of sorrow.

I nodded my head at her looking back at Sawyer and I stepped forward holding his hand tightly as I leaned forward "I wish you didn't leave me" I whispered as tears fell from my cheeks on to his face "I love you" I whispered leaning down kissing his face taking in his scent one last time.

I lifted the sheet covering him gently as the nurse and the porter guy walk over unlocking the breaks on the bed, I step backwards and I watch them wheel Sawyer out of the room.

I sit down on the chair trying to compose myself hearing footsteps walk into the room I turn my head seeing Andy standing there "his gone" was the only words I could say to him before I broke down into tears.