Unwritten: Diary of a Lean Green Plumber

Sewers to Saviors

20 July 1985

Brooklyn, New York

Dear Diary,

Can't you believe we've been at this for two whole years? It's the Mario Bros against the creepy-crawlies, and the Mario Bros are winning! With Sal's help, we've been able to pinpoint the root cause of this infestation. We're getting closer to cracking the case—I can feel it!

In our spare time, Mario and I hit the arcade with friends old and new. The Mario Bros game hasn't lost its appeal, and neither has Pac-Man. I sense a little rivalry going on between these fandoms, but we're getting off-topic here.

The weekends are when I really get in some "me" time. Hanging with Josh and Mac at the gym and laughing about my smelly job. Mac's still climbing up the rungs in the WVBA, and he's dreaming of the moment he'll face off against a worthy opponent. He and Doc have gotten pretty close; Mac refers to Doc as his father figure. In the boxing universe, he has a new nickname—the Bruiser from the Bronx. It's much better than "runt", I'll tell you that. Although some can't resist putting a "Little" in front of his name. Little Mac. Come to think of it—it sounds pretty catchy.

But when I'm back in my apartment—that's where I really have fun. I clear out some space, turn on my stereo and start dancing like a maniac. I don't care who's watching—other tenants catching a glimpse of a shirtless guy dancing and shimmying to Toto's "Africa" or a-ha's "Take on Me" or a plethora of my favorite tunes—let them watch as I cut loose. The stress of the preceding week can't stay inside me forever.

While we're on the subject of guilty pleasures, let me tell you about this new film showing in the theater. It's called Back to the Future, and it's about this kid (a teenager, if you want to be more specific) and his wacky scientist mentor who build a time machine out of a DeLorean, and the kid—er, teenager—winds up sent back 30 years. His interactions with the younger versions of his parents are hilarious! To sum it up, his own mom falls in love with him, and our young protagonist has to get his parents together in time for a prom dance before he's erased from existence! No sweat.

There are realistic films like Flashdance, and then there are escapist goodies like this one. A chance to forget about a long day of clearing creepy-crawlies out of the sewers and laugh at the exploits of a teenage boy and his time-traveling DeLorean. Okay, there's this pretty intense scene involving the school bully and the boy's eventual mom, but then the dad intervenes, and all is well again, yay! And I won't give away the end, but—I see a sequel or two on the horizon.

Gotta get some sleep—it's back to work tomorrow!

Luigi

12 September 1985

Brooklyn, New York

Dear Diary,

Towards the end of our shift, Mario and I finally discovered where those creepy-crawlies originated. Turns out, it's another pipe! This pipe wasn't like the others, though—it was wide and dark green, wide enough for someone to crawl through it. We reported our findings to Sal, prompting an interested look to creep over his face.

"Good work, you two," he said, and a sense of accomplishment washed over me. We agreed that Mario and I would explore that pipe bright and early tomorrow morning. I've had to brew two cups of chamomile tea so far and run a warm bath. I don't know what we'll find inside that pipe tomorrow, but we'll discover it—together.