Unwritten: Diary of a Lean Green Plumber

Games N' Stuff

27 August 1992

MK

Dear Diary,

Things have settled into a routine since our trip to Dinosaur Land. Yoshi and I have come to regard each other as equals, not just "mother and son", but he still affectionately calls me "Mama" or "Mama Luigi". Daisy and I are taking it slow, going on lunch dates and picnics in the park, or going to the movies. Once, she showed me around Sarasaland, which has rebuilt spectacularly. It's not done yet, but it's amazing what can be accomplished in 3 years.

I have a brand new game for my Game Boy! It's called Kirby's Dreamland, and it stars a round puffball named, well, Kirby, who can swallow his enemies whole and puff himself up like a balloon. And after you clear the level and beat the boss, he does a little dance. He's just so adorable! I think this game is aimed at kids who are still too young to comprehend the intense adventures of the Super Mario Bros.

Which brings me to the biggest news of all—the Princess is organizing a little kart race! I've spent these past few months working on a kart of my own, tuning it to be the fastest and coolest on the track. I think it's a good idea to start competing in sports, because I need new outlets for my aggression and frustration. Dancing still helps, and it's always good to see about Josh and Julian, but as that rainy day in 1990 proved, my emotions regarding my big bro can still rage out of control. With the introduction of events such as this kart race, chances are that we'll never get in that big of a fight again.

The Princess has invited all of her constituents to participate in the kart race, and she teased that she's invited some old friends, as well. She's ordered the construction of several racetracks, which are due for completion sometime next month. Until then, I'm gonna find a nice open road to get some practice.

I can't wait to burn rubber.

Luigi

1 September 1992

MK

Dear Diary,

I'm beat! I've never participated in something so extreme in my life—well, maybe I have, but I'm still beat! But I can't go to sleep unless I relate the gist of the day's events to you.

The Princess pulled two surprises out of her sleeve when we arrived at the racing area. The first was the normally villainous Koopa having a civil conversation with her. He wasn't trying to grab her or anything! We were naturally suspicious of his motives, and that was when he pulled out the flag of truce for us to see. The Princess explained to us that he's also a sports nut, and that he showed up at her castle earlier with his flag of truce and asked if he could get a spot, along with one of his Koopa Troopas. She was just as suspicious as us, but being a forgiving soul, she eventually gave in.

But the second surprise was even bigger. Mario and I saw a familiar, hulking ape tinkering with his kart. When we approached him, he looked up, and it was none other than DK! DK shyly explained that he'd read up on our exploits while in DK Isle and said that he was genuinely happy for us. He saw the ads for the kart race shortly after they circulated and decided to take a chance and enter. Then, he asked us about Pauline, and we told him about her and Stanley, the exterminator. DK made a little face, but other than that, he took the news well. I left Mario and DK to catch up and commiserate, and tended to my kart. My blood started pumping as I caressed the hood. I could hardly wait to open her up and see what this baby could do!