Bad habits

"Oh damn Annie it's you. I thought you topped yourself"

My theatre group wasn't so bad once I started making friends. There was a groups of girls all mostly the same school year as me. They were all very talented. When I was there I felt like me. I felt free, like nothing bad had ever happened. First of all I met a girl called cassie, she told me that she goes to a school that a few of my old friends go to, she told me about her solo she got for our show. She was loud and her voice was slightly annoying. Having friends felt foreign. No one at this place knew my past. None of them knew what I had done. A few Sundays after meeting this girl, having my week full of mock exams and test because it was that time of year at school, I spoke to a lovely young girl who went by the name of Esme. Well she spoke to me. She came up to me and picked up my extra headphone and was very surprised and she realised I listened to indie rock, just like her. She was even more amazed once she saw my home screen on my phone which was a self made edit and photograph that I had posted onto my tumblr page.

"Me and my friend Finn have tumblr, I do some edits myself but he does not" she said to me.

Talking to someone. Being friends with someone was odd but I liked it. She liked me for me. After the first time we spoke she took my number and we texts back and forth that whole night talking about nonsense and I could really see having a great friendship with this girl. I didn't know anyone else who listed to my music. After she introduced me to her younger sister Amber we spent every Sunday together. Me, Esme and Cassie. We would listen to music. We would laugh and joke around through rehearsals. I loved it at this place. All the choreographers were so nice to me. All the kids were funny and loud. You would always have a good time here.

My Sunday plans were what got me through the weeks And with only a month and a half left of this academic year life was getting better. So I thought.

School for the next few weeks before summer break was hard. It was difficult once everyone stopped walking on eggshells around me. I'm not saying it was so bad I was being bullied again and all the shit came back but at least before the accident most of the school didn't know me. Now, everyone knew me. Everyone stared and laughed at me. They didn't even know my name. I was the nutty girl, the insane one. My favourite one was the freak. My so called friends have left me completely and all the name calling and little comments had stopped. Thank god. I still cried in the morning on the way to school because I was just waiting for it to blow up in my face. I was still getting in trouble. I was permanently removed from my math lesson after throwing a box at my teachers head and basically being a little bitch. And I was only allowed in the rest of my lessons half of the week but I was alright with that.

I didn't let it effect me massively anymore. I had a few friends again and me and Elijah were back on track. We would hang out at break, lunch and after school. My life was looking up. It was time to forget all the past. We decided it was time to let go of all the mistakes and problems. We don't talk about the argument and the fights anymore. He promised me he would never lay a hand on me like that again. I know he did it all for my own health. I would slap someone and scream at them if I thought it would stop them going insane. He loves me I know he loves me.

One day when I was doing my usual walk home with Jason, Molly and Elijah. Elijah was holding my hand and he looked so happy and for the first time in a while I could really feel and see myself getting better. It was time for me to be happy again. That night I had a sleepover with Molly. Her and Payton were basically my only friends I had at school but since I got arrested because of Payton's mum I am not allowed to see her anymore apart from school and then her mum picks her up. Apparently I'm a bad influence.

Me and Molly sat up laughing and planning the summer ahead. The next day was the last day of the school year and I was happy about this. A whole summer away from people who have ruined the last 9 months of my life but I am glad to say I can happily put it all behind me... Well I am trying to anyway. I fell asleep that night dreaming of a summer in the sun with Elijah Molly, my new friends at group and my family. It's time to patch everything up. I am happy now.

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"Oops sorry darling, didn't see you there" I hear someone say from behind me: Zak.

"Sorry it's my mistake" I try and speak up but my voice don't allow anything more than a squeak. Argh pathetic Annie.

"Oh damn Annie it's you. I thought you topped yourself" Thanks Zak.

I just give an off smile and stay standing in the lunch line. I'm hungry and i need to eat.

"No she tried to, the crazy bitch just got put into an institution instead" a familiar voice speaks up a few people behind me and Zak.

I know this voice. God please don't be.

"El I guess Annie ain't your girl anymore"

My questions are answers when Zak screams to the boy who is pushing me to the edge. I am slowly walking away from the line now but close enough to hear what 'El' is about to say. Not sure what is offending me more the way the boys in my school talk or what Elijah just called me. I am now scanning the dinning hall for Molly. She is the only person I want to be around if I hear something I am praying to not hear.

"Oh come on Zak you only know I went with her to get one thing. I wanted to know if all the rumours are true"

Ouch. Now all I can hear is the boys laughing. My eyes are now filling with tears, my hands are clammy.

Molly, I need her. He continues.

"And they are as true as everyone had said"

LIAR! I can't hear anymore. I am not like that. We only kissed a few times. what is he taking about?

"Boys I would say you can have her but i worked hard to get all that. You will never guess how many 'I love you's it took me to get it" I now feel all their eyes on the back of my head. I'm going to puke. Or pass out. Or both.

I look at the time I only have 2 hours left of school then out of the corner of my eye I see Molly.