Bad habits

"a hangover crafted and delivered by satan himself"

The next couple of weeks went really fast. My shows were so great. We performed perfectly every night and I am so proud of all the stars in my group. They all have done so great and it makes me sad that I won't be doing it again until late april next year. i will miss some people there. A couple that have decided not to come back next year made me cry on the last night whilst saying goodbye. on my first night my mum delivered flowers and ballons to say good luck, it was cute. The whole atmosphere is so great to be in and its so cheerful and uplifting. everyone looked so beautiful on stage and i was so proud of Cassie when she did her solo. We took some great professional pictures on our friends camera. Finn messaged us all wishing us good luck. he is such a sweet lad. Me and esme did get told off for singing underdog by you me at six a little too loud in the dressing rooms but it was worth it. i was going back to school only a few days later and that scares me. i have to see poeple i cant stand. poeple who have ruined my life. its not okay and i feel like it will never be okay.

~ almost two months later~

last day of school before half term. the half term that includes halloween, my birthday and my week away with my little family and my daring friend molly. i was so happy when we went back to school and i saw her. however seeing everyone else kind of threw me off. this year is not even close to how bad the previous school year was i am staying away from a lot of people. elijah, lilly, maria and sammi stay away from me which is fine because i dont want my ex and ex-bestfriends around me. molly has introduces me to her new group of friends. its a bunch of girls that i have known were in my year but we have never really spoke other than one girl Imogen who went to my junior school but i havent really spoken to her for a couple of years.i still fell like id ont fit in with the girls but i have molly and imogen and its a hell of a lot better than sitting alone in school.

on the last day me and molly walk to hers, get her suitcase and head back to mine. well its not everyone elses last day. they are going into school the day after but we are getting trains early in the morning and we would only be missing half a day so its alright. once i am back at mine i re pack my suitcase and check i have what i need, set my alarms and me and molly got an early night.

esme and cassie are upset that i wont be here for my birthday so we cant hang out but i plan on seeing then the day after i get back which is a saturday. we dont know what we will be doing but it will be good to see them as i havent seen them much since the shows.

The holiday was a blur. A lot of drinking and dancing. I remember being told I was drunk so much I was making a pot noodle back in our room and was dancing with my forks as if they were some sort of Spanish instrument. Another night me and molly went missing and were found on the beach. Still fully clothes. Just. If they had left is another 20 minutes Molly would have been naked in the ocean persuading me to join her. Then that would have been hard to explain. I had a good birthday though, I had a cake and people sang happy birthday to me. My mum brought me some cool things. The sweetest thing was my Jack skellington teddy from the disney store, it's silly, but I love it. The journey home felt longer than the journey there. It might have been because I have a hangover crafted and delivered by satan himself or the fact I was now pulling a suitcase twice the size of me full of my clothes and lots of presents from my birthday and for people when I get home.

Overall we had a good holiday, From what I can remember, but nothing beats the sound of hearing the sound of the lady's voice on the London buses saying my stop telling me I am going home. As soon as I got home I had a few more cards and presents to open that my mum didn't pack of had been delivered while we were away. I got a PARAMORE jumper and some other cool things. I was exited about the jumper.

After a long week I decided that considering I was seeing two close friends tomorrow who are both very energetic, I am going to need my energy so I climb into bed in new pjs and my new teddy feeling 4 not 14 and catch up on well needed sleep.

'Hello' I answer the phone, which just woke me up.

'We're meeting in half hour Annie I best not have just woken you up!' Who is this? I look at caller ID. Good morning to you too Esme.

Cleaning my voice trying to knock the sleep out of my throat.

'Don't be silly I just got out the shower. I'm on my way' I lied.

'Yeah yeah just get your ass out of bed'

'Okay okay'

'It's good to have you back' she says more calmly then the rest of the phone call.

'See you soon'

I then realise she isn't joking and jump out of bed. Thank the Lord I washed my hair last night. I have a quick shower and get ready. I throw on converse, leggings, a new T, my paramore jumper and my coat. I love the winter. After sorting out my face and making myself look okay considering it looks like I'm going to climb mount dew. Okay it's not a mountain but I'm thirsty and I want Mountain Dew a lot right now. I leave on time arriving 5 minutes before them. They have been in croydon for an hour doing God knowns what!?

Before I can finish that question in my head or possibly think of an answer the answer is revealed. Good because I'm still recovering and my brain hurts. The girls come rushing round the corner charging towards me with balloons and presents and a cake. Mmm cake. They tell me the plans for the day. We will be eating Chinese then see where the day takes us. I guess they didn't plan any further than Chinese. I would of been happy with mcd's right now, they didn't have to make this much fuss. It's cute though, I like it a lot.

We sit in the cheapest Chinese place in the world. £5 for a plate and we can go up as much as we want. Cool. I ate a lot that day. I haven't had a lot of food the last week. Mostly junk food and lots of liquids. We talk about a lot of things and joke about. We talk about the shows and they tell me how the disco was considering I missed it and I tell them how my holiday was. It's nice having a catch up. It's even nicer having friends out of school. Then they never get sick of me. Hopefully anyway. We talk and eat and laugh and eat and laugh and laugh untill I realise my bladder can't take anymore laughing. I get up to go toilet and Cassie follows me. Okay I can pee alone. She keeps me in the bathroom talking about a 'serious topic' I try to be interested but it don't make sense to me. Anyway I manage to get myself and her out of the bathroom by giving some simple advice and swearing secrecy. As I was out I realise why I was being held in the bloody toilet. Esme had put candles and lit them on my cake and the whole place was singing happy birthday to me. That's cute. I blow out my candles and make my wish. Well I didn't actually make a wish, it's just what they say right? My life's good I don't need to wish for anything else.

The cake was almost demolished when they hand me presents. A key ring that says love. Cute and a picture frame with a picture of us three from the shows in. Super cute.

Since we didn't know what else to do Esme suggested we all go to the fireworks at a local park tonight. I agreed. I have nothing better to do. So we called her dad and asked if he could take us. Our request was accepted and we made our way to Esme's dads where we hung out for a bit with Amber too then we all got in the car and set off to the fireworks display. Secret: I'm terrified of fireworks.