Bad habits

'delete him from my life, electronically.'

I'm still standing, staring at Elijah. He doesn't break our connection. I need to look away but I don't. I follow my mum around the crowded all with her pulling at me to try on new clothes to see way size I need as we still watch each over. Our faces hold no emotion we just stare with eyes wide and months open. I know it's only been about 4 weeks since I saw him but suddenly everything had come back. All the good stuff. He butterflies he gives me come flooding back followed my sweet memories of the two of us being happy together. Then I remember the last day of school and what he said. I drop the look and try and focus on whatever item of clothing my mother is holding up against me.

"No it's too small" I say stupidly as if I had taken a look at the school jumper she was holding it was clearly way too big.

Elijah was horrible to me. His actions and words were unspeakable. I can't and won't talk to him. Molly has told me to stay strong and I plan on doing exactly that. I have had a nice few days with the girls and making some new friends. Forget Elijah.

While I stand in line to pay for my school clothes I pull my phone out and do what I should of done before. Remove everything of him from my phone. If I can't delete him from the universe I can at least delete and block him from contacting me through any social network.

After deleting everything and putting my phone away i realise that he is bloody standing behind me. what a cock. good i hope he saw me delete him from my life, electronically.

my phone does that little ping thing and somehow i take a deep breath before opening the message expecting it to be el. to my surprise it isnt.

*hello darling, i hope you are up to date with your sleep now. i am going to be in our local shopping centre today and i hear you will be too. maybe ill meet you*

i start smiling and i dont quite get why. am i just happy that for once someone actually cares about me after that thing done nothing but cause me shit and clearly did not give a shit about me at all. so now i am writing a reply and i am giggling and getting a odd feeling in my chest i am kind of scared about maybe seeing him. in my head i am now rambleing on and thinking stupid scenarios about how i will meet the boy i am somehow framing as mr perfect. thats who he is to me right now. a fresh start. the man behind the mask. behind the door i cant seem to unlock.

hours later i am still walking around town centre. i keep finding myself hoping to bumb into finn. its pathetic. i dont even know him, plus he would never be into me.

while we are shopping we pick up some things i need for my shows in the next week and head home after picking up KFC.