misfire ♕ jorbyn

uǝǝʇɹnoɟ

and a week later, corbyn had settled into a routine. he woke up every morning, took a shower, got dressed and packed his bag before heading downstairs by six thirty where he ate a nice, cooked breakfast with daniel. they then went to school where he went through his classes like normal. at the end of the day, he would meet daniel at the car, they would head home, and then they would each finish their homework before messing about.
keri didn't make corbyn go to church on sunday mornings, and he would be forever grateful.
instead, he went on the computer, opening a blank document and beginning to write, writing out every ounce of feeling that he had, trying to fix everything all up. he couldn't put a neat little bow on top, too much remained unresolved.
when the front door opened, corbyn printed his writing and deleted the file, folding it in half a few times and shoving it in his pocket.
"corbyn, darling, it's time for lunch, okay? will you come and help daniel set the table, please?" she called out, and he nodded, not saying anything but joining them in the kitchen anyway. daniel grinned at him, just like he does always.
daniel made a lovely brother, it seemed. he got out all of the silverware while daniel grabbed plates, and they worked smoothly together.
"so, corbyn." daniel's dad began, swallowing a bit of his pie before continuing, "i know we haven't talked about it yet. but i was curious as to what your plans for next year are." he said, and daniel shot him a look, eyebrows drawn together.
"not now, yeah? he's barely even settled."
"i'm not quite sure." he answered, regardless, shaking his head and sipping at his water.
"i mean, i obviously always thought i'd attend uni after taking my a-levels, but now it all seems a bit wrong, yeah? maybe i'll take a year off and just work or something." he said, shrugging.
keri's expression softened, "well, we're behind you completely, of course. it's whatever you want to do. it would make complete sense for you to need some time. this year has been quite traumatic for you.
he just nodded, forcing a weak smile onto his face.
he let out a shaky breath, looking around for a moment.
"i'm not feeling very well, think i might go and have a lie down. may i please be excused? the food is delicious of course, thank you." and keri's expression sobered a bit as she nodded.
"of course, corbyn. go on up." she said, and he stood quickly, all but running up to the room, closing the door and bursting into tears, sitting in front of the door with his head in his hands, shoulders shaking slightly.
he wasn't aware of how much time had passed before there was a knock on the door.
"corbs, come on. open up. i can hear you." daniel said softly, and corbyn staggered to his feet, nearly falling back down before he tugged the door open, surprisd by how quickly he was pulled into daniel's arms.
"shh, corbs, i've got you. you're safe now, yeah? i won't let anyone hurt you. not anymore." he assured, curling up with corbyn in the bed.
he fell asleep with his head on daniel's strong chest and woke in the same position, looking around groggily.
"morning, sleeping beauty." he whispered, and corbyn scrunched his nose up.
"morning" he rhasped out, and daniel chuckled, shaking his head.
"nah, it's only about four, i reckon." he said, running a hand through corbyn's hair.
"how are you feeling, corbyn?" he asked then, voice a bit more serious.
but corbyn just shook his head. he felt a scary kind of numbness, like he was empty. he had never wanted to be that person who lets someone emotionally devastate them, but jonah had ruined him in a fundamental kind of way.
he felt broken and war-torn and battered. he squeezed his eyes shut, and shook his head again. it was exhausting, opening his eyes and trying to function normally.
"corbyn, i'm quite worried about you, really. you've been off." he says, and corbyn just keeps shaking his head, feeling the emptiness surround him, working its way outward from his insides. he felt trapped in a sea of nothing.
"it hurts, daniel." he whispered.
"what hurts, corbyn? i don't understand. what do you need?"
"everything." he whispered, hiding his face in daniel's shoulder.
he had never felt more alone, even daniel's touch feeling somehow faraway. and he wondered sadly, how fucked up jonah was. he wondered if jonah was high and partying and having sex and letting old men touch him the way that corbyn wanted to touch him.
his skin crawled at the thought, and he jumped up, sprinting to the bathroom and vomiting.
keri didn't let him go to school the next morning, telling daniel to bring home each and every one of corbyn's homework assignments.
the emptiness grew larger until it surrounded the entire house. he closed his eyes, trying to make himself as small as possible so that the lonliness couldn't catch him.
it didn't work, but it seemed worth the shot.
when daniel got home, he found corbyn sitting inside the closet, in the corner, arms wrapped tightly around his knees in the midst of a panic attack. he wasn't very lucid for what felt like hours.
it turned out to be three days before he was eating breakfast beside daniel, deep purple circles under his eyes. the whole family knew that it wasn't normal behaviour. but no one was sure how to go about fixing it.
keri gave him an extra serving of bacon instead, thinking that with a bit of food, he'd feel better.
corbyn thanked her, smiling softly and eating all of the food before they went to school.
the day was a blur, just like the three before, and he found himself sitting inside the truck, waiting for daniel after the bell rang.
"i don't think i'll pass." he muttered, shaking his head.
daniel frowned, scrunching up his nose, "what are you on about, corbs?" he asked, and corbyn laughed a bit cynically.
"my a-levels. there's no way i'll pass them. i've missed too much school. no uni is going to accept me. i think i should drop out." he said, and daniel's face contorted.
"no, absolutely not. you are not going to drop out and go crawling back to that lowlife, high, abusive mother-"
"it isn't about him, daniel!" corbyn screeched, eyes bright and manic.
"it isn't about him. it's about me."
daniel shook his head, turning the car on.
"no. no, mate. it isn't you at all." he said lowly, keeping his eyes on the road the whole way there.