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xxiii

f l a s h b a c k—
12/12/2088

"I'VE been hiding it. i'll tell you something, just to leave it buried. now i can't endure it anymore, why couldn't i say it then? i have been hurting anyway. really, i wouldn't be able to endure it." 

the melodic voice of yoo mi-joo's travels throughout the silent neighborhood. she lived somewhere near the outskirts, and it was actually fine for her, for it was quiet and had little to no people around to judge her for anything. 

"now cry, it's only that i'm very sorry towards you. again, cry, because i couldn't protect you." 

it was in the merciless blithe cold that fateful day. she was walking down the snow-covered path home, singing to herself. her voice replaced those of the birds that were once there, singing to every morning. but now that they were gone, she replaced them. however with every cheerful tune the birds sang, she in turn sang one of heartbreak and melancholy. 

"deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper. like pieces of broken glass i can't reverse. deeper, it's just the heart that hurts every day. you, who was punished in my stead. you, who were only delicate and fragile."

no one was complaining anyway. after her breaking up with yugyeom, she felt free. at first, she felt as if the world was coming to an end, but sooner she realized that actually, their world was coming to an end, and it was time to create her own. and now, she wanted to thank yugyeom for being unfaithful. she was happy as she was now.

"stop crying, tell me something. try saying something to me, who had no courage. why did you do that to me then?  i'm sorry. forget it, what right do i have? to tell you to do it or that?"

her footsteps were quick and light as she floated through the snow. hands shoved tightly into the pockets of her coat, she waddled her way home. unlike the birds, only she, the snow and god could hear her singing. she had long past the stage of getting up again, but now she just tended to relate more to the darker sides of life. 

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, my brother. even if i try to hide it or conceal it, it can't be erased. are you calling me a sinner? what more do i have to say?"

sounds of a car beeping didn't stop her. yes, it was weird to have cars in the middle of this place, but oh, she wasn't going to stop singing. the headlights of the car flashed into her eyes, shining brightly till she thought she might go blind. dear heavens, the snow was terrible, wasn't it? locks of her ivory-black hair bounced as her head turned to see the car skidding towards her direction. the driver was familiar. she looked closer—it was none other than yugyeom. 

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, my sister. even if i try to hide it or conceal it, it can't be erased. so cry. please dry my eyes."

she smiled at his panicked face, the horns frantically beeping at her, blaring into her ears, but she didn't stop singing. at that point of time, she was sure she either had depression or had lost her mind altogether. or, maybe just had a death wish. 

the car hit her, and her world turned black.

"that light, that light, please illuminate my sins. where i can't turn back, the red blood is flowing down. deeper, i feel like dying every day. please let me be punished. please forgive my sins."

"please."

the music ended and the singer stopped singing. and the world fell silent.

(a/n: lol i'm so great at being dramatic heEheehEeE)