it comes like a sudden whisper, a hand
on the wrist, these visions
of your palms
cupping the arch of my back
as i gasp out my climax
into the dark of your bedroom.
my fingers
running through your hair,
your red lips
staining hot breaths
across my skin, i am powerless
against this onslaught,
betrayed to dishonesty
by my wandering heart.
this passion lives inside me, draws the air
from my lungs when i am looking at you,
presses you against me like an iron-gray sky
above your golden head, bringing you down
farther
when you thought you hit rock bottom.
i am scraping at the concrete
at the bottom of a well, trying
to find a way to blame my bloody knees
on your teeth, spitting my stomach lining
into the swill & begging myself
not to think about if you could still love me
even after all this.
the truth is that i never
stopped wanting you as feverishly
& fervently as i did when you first eased yourself
under my skin, it's just that i
have other things with which to occupy my mind,
but my legs are the same & my hands
are the same & my heart
is the same, & it's on me
if i still love you but you know
as well as i do that sometimes
there's nothing to be done, not when
my hands slip onto my waist as you're sexting
your girlfriend, not when there are records
& words & feelings
that still have your name & only
your name stamped across their fronts.
i will walk home with my eyes closed
& i will breathe the same way i used to,
waiting for the change to come &
maybe it won't because i am too
small & too much of me is
stone & if the way my
heart held you was wrong then i am not
sorry because the way my
heart held you was true, i
will walk home with my eyes
closed, let my skin taste the
same, tell me that it is
wrong so i can ignore you,
mockingbird, i will not hear you
when i am sleeping & my
ears are closed to your sighs,
because i am still empty, waiting,
bracing for you to tell me that it
was me, all along, every breath that i knew
resonated a little more inside you, they were all
mine, & you are mine, blood & body & soul,
& if i was wrong
about everything & the day
when you give your heart back
in exchange for mine never comes,
then i will go on waiting,
holding on to the hollow space
in my bed, & you can never blame me
because we are the same now, love,
& you can't tell me off
for becoming a part of you.
YOU ARE READING
Rocket Fizz
PoetryA collection of decidedly bad poems written by yours truly Surprisingly not really about space
