blind

a dark place

a/n: a potato flew around my room before you came... dw, it'll all make sense in the end - sarah x

billie's p.o.v

I cut myself off from the rest of the world. I just wish I could stay in this bed all day long. I can't believe myself. How could I be so selfish? Taking everything away from Grayson, taking away everything he's ever wanted. He's always going on about being a dad and having a family and when he finally gets his chance, I just have to go and ruin it for him. Tears stream down my face and then Grayson walks through the door. I wipe the tears away from my face and make room for him on the bed. I've been dreading this moment. I know what he's about to do, he's going to give me a big talk on how 'special', how 'beautiful', and how 'precious' I am. It's bullshit. It's always bullshit. And it always will be bullshit. But, I don't let him know that I believe that.

grayson's p.o.v

I know Ariana told me not to check on Billie, but I can't just leave her. She makes room for me on our bed and I start:
"Billie-"
"No, Grayson." she says. "It's not 'alright' and it's not 'okay'. I took everything away from you, I was being selfish. Yet, you still try to comfort me-"
"Yes, I'm still trying to comfort you, because I care about you; and because it's not your fault. Think about it: you can't control what goes on in your body, only God can. So, you need to stop blaming yourself for shit you have no say in. And, yes, I was looking forward to raising our children, but it doesn't mean I love you any less. All you can do now is pray and know that I love you, and so do E and Ariana. Don't worry." I wipe away her tears, then I lean over her to get to the other night-dresser and I put the needle on top of the record. I press 'play'.

billie's p.o.v

He's playing my favorite song.
"'Thinkin Bout You'? Really, Grayson?"
He smiles at me, cuddles me, and we fall asleep in each other's arms.

a/n: ok, i hated writing that last bit. it's too warm today: 75°f (24°c for all you european unionists???) - sarah x