Me just writing random texts

To end it

I have thought of ending it all. Why? Perhaps I'm just stuck in a negative mindset! Like am I good enough or am I really comparable with the other kids? My family and a very few amount of people are my only friends. Perhaps my thoughts of not being enough was so visible to everyone else? I don't know.

But on the other side I really do want to see the positive in life. I mean I have an awesome boyfriend who in just a few weeks already has made me smiled so much more than before. He stands up and look after me when even I don't do it and for that, I am incredibly grateful.

I get attached to people easily and have this constant fear of messing things up... like I've done so many times before and look where I am now.

I don't want to dissappoint someone and why do I have this fear that haunts me every second? Who knows? I guess a part of it is me being scared of loosing more people, friends, family and so many others.

I am so sorry that this first part is so dark and depressing but I tend to bottle things up until I loose control and become so sad for like weeks.

I am scared of being weak and I don't want to worry the people around me. I know it's a bad mindset but... honestly I don't have the energy to deal with more things now.

I'll try and write a more positive text in the next part and until then : Be you no matter what. People may talk shit but you are worth more than to waste energy on narrowminded people <3

If you ever need anyone to talk to just comment and I'll give you my IG and I can just read the texts or try to support you in any way you want. Suffering alone is hard. And you are not worth that hardship.