49

-seven-

I've lost count of the days I've been at my aunts house.

But I know one thing for sure.

I need to speak to someone that wasn't Joseph.

I needed to rant.

Just once.

But I couldn't.

Because of it.

It changed me.

But I need to do what I need to do.

So I made up my mind.

I called my old best friend.

Jessica.

Jessica Einstein.

I used to make fun of her last name.

But I haven't seen her since it happened.

Let alone talked to her.

"Hello?" Jessica answered, obviously confused, for she knows that I haven't talked to anyone but Joseph since it happened. "Molly?" She asks.

I take a deep breath, second guessing if I should talk or not.

But I made my decision.

I needed to talk.

"Code red." I say in barley a whisper.

We made up the series of codes in 3rd grade.

Code red was the highest level of emergency.

And I just called one.

I hear her gasp.

She obviously didn't except me to talk.

"Of course. Be there soon." She says in a rush.

"Thank you." I say in a soft whisper, holding back tears.

I hang up the phone, and ponder some more if I made the right decision.

But I need to do this.

I need to rant.

But I'm not sure if I can.

All because it happened.

But I can't let it control my life.

I thought I was going to.

But I'm not.

I can't.