Call Me Ashleigh

Chapter 13:

WHOOOO~ Chapter 13! Haha nope I am not a mega huge fan of Taylor Swift, even though I do like her music, but 13 is my favourite number!! <3 Yay 13! I was 13 years old when I started writing CMA and now I'm 14 :D Okay so enough of that, let the chapter begin~!

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CHAPTER 13:

What the poof. Like seriously. Any kinds of vulgarities were forbidden in my family, I knew, even ones where you replaced the word. But at that particular moment, there seemed to be no better expression for the situation.

Poof. Poof poofy.

So she didn't hate me. She wasn't angry. She didn't mind me writing to her. We were okay. We were friends.

That was a good thing.

But why on earth hadn't she told me sooner?! It would've saved me a lot if tears, a lot of misery, and not to mention a whole lot of money. I'd only just realised how expensive doctor and hospital fees were.

Even though technically we were friends, according to Amanda, there was something a little off in our friendship. They way she typed... there was a layer of frost on her words. She was just a little colder than usual.

Maybe I was imagining it, but I had this feeling that our friendship wasn't the same anymore. It was strained, we were distant. I was less innocent, less bubbly, less healthy, and lacking the pure sweet happiness of the earlier months. I didn't like what I had become. It wasn't really bad, but it wasn't really good either.

People said I'd grown up a little.

If growing up was always being sober and hardly laughing, getting sick and staying in hospitals, having worry and fear take over your life, and live with your heart hurting every day... Then I never wanted to grow up.

It had hurt a lot, really. More than I had let on.

Whenever I saw Amanda laughing and smiling, I'd wonder how she could do that when my whole world was falling apart without her. I eventually came to the conclusion that she couldn't possibly care much about me, since she didn't even miss me.

And that thought hurt. Bad.

It's kinda sad, really, when you care so much about a person and give them your all, but they don't even care.

Amanda said everything was fine between us. But she didn't act like it. If we were really friends, what had happened to the smiles, the waves, the friendly teasing? The laughs, the letters, the nicknames she gave me?

I missed all of it.

It was so clear in my mind. But seeing it was not enough, I wanted to live it all again, to see her pretty smile once more, not for anyone else, but for me.

I missed her.

But, looking on the bright side, at least we weren't enemies. Things would improve, perhaps they would even go back to the way they were before.

But something told me otherwise.

She had gotten my letter.