More Than A Miracle

4. If the decision is mine

Akshita

After Ashish and his family left, my mother complained to my father that I had removed the makeup and the accessories while talking to Ashish. To say that my father was angry would be an understatement, he was seething in anger.

"You can't do a single thing right. We are trying to find a suitable guy for you and you always have to mess everything up." He yelled angrily. I flinched at his rising tone.

"I saw you looking at Ashish as if you have never seen a guy before. Maybe he got uncomfortable with your desperate behaviour." My mother scolded me too. It was such a mean thing that she said. I was not behaving desperately. I just smiled at him.

"Why was she given to us? Oh, God! What bad deeds I did to get a daughter?" He said those things again.  I didn't want to hear him say I was undesired and not deserving of love. He said those words very often these days and they always made me feel worthless. So I blocked out whatever he was saying and started thinking about Ashish and his family instead. They were so warm and loving towards each other.

The way Ashish and Khushi were treating each other, warmed my heart so much. And the most surprising thing was that they were all nice to me. Ashish was a bit annoyed with me in the beginning but after I started talking, he was behaving politely too. He was so handsome and looked so cute when he said he hated science in school. He had scrunched up his nose in displeasure. I want to keep that expression in my heart forever. I want to keep him and his family in my good memories. The thought in itself put a genuinely big smile on my face.

"Why the hell are you smiling now? Is this funny to you? I am talking to you and you dare to laugh at me. I can't see your face right now without getting angry. Just go to your room and don't come for dinner." He shouted and I went to my room hastily.

I changed my clothes into simple and comfortable pyjamas. As dad said that I won't get any dinner so I went to sleep without eating anything. I was not hungry anyway. I couldn't sleep though. The day my parents started torturing me with the whole marriage thing, my sleeping issues started. I couldn't sleep with these million thoughts running in my mind. And after my job resignation, everything became much worse. I tried to sleep but I kept tossing and turning the whole night.

When the sun came up, I woke up and got ready. After an hour or so, my mother came to my room looking excited.

"Good, you are already awake. The Bansals are coming again today. They want to meet one more time before giving any decision. Dare you ruin anything for us today." I looked at her perplexed. Why would they want to meet me again? Me?

"Wear this dress and get ready fast. I will do your makeup. If your makeup comes off today..." I gulped at her warning and nodded. It was enough for me to agree to everything. I got ready wearing the dress which she gave me and let her apply makeup on my face again.

"Your eyes have bags under them. What were you doing last night? I'll have to apply extra makeup today." She said annoyed and I stayed quiet. She was done within an hour. I don't think my mother knows how to apply makeup properly because other people look so much better with makeup but I look hideous after it.

"Okay, I am leaving. When I take you outside, try to smile beautifully. Okay?" I nodded at her and she left. I got a little excited at the thought of seeing Ashish and his family again.

I know I said that I don't believe in love and I don't trust people but he and his family were the first people who were sweet to me. I looked at myself in the mirror and cringed at myself. He would never say yes to me. I don't think I am his type. He should be with a confident and beautiful girl.

There used to be a girl in my school, Shamya, she was really beautiful and every guy craved her attention. I think she would have looked really good alongside Ashish, not the plain, under-confident me. I wish I was like her so that Ashish would like me.