One and Only

Chapter Seven - Sunday

It took me two hours to work up the courage for a one minute phone call.

I paced the entire house, occasionally stopping for food and toilet breaks, while wringing my hands with worry. The anxiety was overpowering. Every time I glanced at the phone I would almost faint. How could I even speak to her?

Eventually, mum said she was going grocery shopping and kissed me goodbye. On her way out the door she said, "What is the worst she could do over the phone?"

"Sticks and stones, mum!" I called after her. "Sticks and stones..."

My hands shook aggressively as I picked up the phone. Inside my chest it felt like a wrestling match between my heart and ribs. Before I could hyperventilate, I dialled her number and pressed the phone to my ear.

Ring. Ring. "Hello?" It was her younger sister. I almost died of relief.

"Hi, this is... er... a friend of Lottie's. Is she home?"

"Yeah, she is. I'll get her for you."

"Thanks." I waited, nervously fiddling with everything I touched: the kitchen tap, the back of the dining room chairs, the TV...

"Hello?"

Lottie.

"Oh, hi, Lottie. Its Ruby."

A pause. "Hey Ruby."

"Look," I said, sucking in as much oxygen as I could hold. "I am so sorry for what happened. It was so wrong of me, and its all my fault."

"Oh, don't worry about it," she said. "It was just a mistake."

I stopped. She was telling me it was a mistake?

"Really, Lottie. I feel so bad. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes. As long as it doesn't happen again."

"It won't, I promise."

Technically, I never broke that promise. But I didn't keep it the way I thought I would.

I continued, "I hope we can be friends again."

"Yeah, sure. But Jenna is just a dog."

At first, I just said, "Yeah, I know..." but then I frowned. Lottie hardly knew Jenna. "Why? What did she do?"

Lottie's voice quivered. "She's been spreading mean rumours about me and calling me names behind my back."

"That's horrible. I'm so sorry."

She didn't say anything, so I took that as my cue. "Thank you for being so forgiving Lottie."

"That's fine. See you later."

I hung up.

Despite the relief that washed over me, I felt awful about what Jenna was doing. How could anyone be so mean? Why was she doing it? What makes someone act that way?

I fumed. Jenna and Chloe had already ruined my life. Now they were starting on Lottie - who was already traumatized from seeing her boyfriend kissing another girl. The anger welled up inside of me until I could not contain it. I shoved on some shoes and left.

A good walk was all I needed. It was a nice, quiet Sunday with a clear blue sky and a soft breeze. My skin soaked up the warm sun as I plodded along the side of the road, breathing fresh air through my nostrils. I felt better for apologzing to Lottie, but something was missing. Something was wrong.

As I passed the church I was reminded of Shaun. It was Sunday. Would he be inside? Would he even remember who I was? I sighed. Probably not.

My feet began moving away from the building when I hear a car horn. I was standing in the church driveway.

"Sorry!" I ran across so the car could get through and felt my face flush. Was I blind or something? I must have looked like a complete idiot standing there looking at nothing.

Maybe it just wasn't my day.

But it was.

What is wrong with me? I thought angrily. Why can't I think straight?

Somebody interupted my thoughts. In my rage, I was about to whirl and clobber them, but I took a deep breath to calm myself before I looked around.

"Shaun?" I asked happily, not bothering to act casual.

"Hey," he said, smiling himself. "That was my dad that nearly ran you over. I'm sorry for that."

Oh mercy. It was Shaun? Whatever reputation I had with him was now ruined.

I planted on another smile. "Oh, that's fine. I should have looked where I was going. So, you're on your way to church I see?"

He was wearing a nice, crispy white shirt with a red tie and black pants. Very handsome.

"Yeah, I am," he said. "And you're on your way to...?"

"Hell, probably," I joked. But he frowned, trying to discern whether I was kidding or in a bad, grumpy mood. When I laughed, he smiled again. "Just kidding," I chuckled.

"Well, you're welcome to join me."

"Join you where?"

"Church."

"Oh!" I cried. "No, sorry, thanks anyway. I'm an agnostic."

His face fell and his smile faded until it was gone. He still looked handsome without the smile, but it wasn't the same. Not smiling just didn't suit him.

I shuffled my feet. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't feel comfortable."

He shrugged. "Well, I guess I'll... can I've your number?"

My heart leapt. My number? No guy had ever asked for my number before!

"Oh, of course," I replied. He pulled a nice pen from his shirt pocket and held out his hand for me to write my number on.

Heart pumping, I took his warm hand and wrote the digits in a neat line. When I looked up at him, he was smiling again. We were standing so close I could smell his men's deoderant. I wanted to wrap my arms around him.

"Its a shame you're not coming."

For the first time in my life, I wanted to go to church. Just so I could sit next to him. I imagined looking at his hand with my number written on it, and him slipping his arm around me...

"Maybe next week," was my excuse.

He continued smiling. "I better go. I'll talk to you later."

I smiled  and gave him a wink before he turned around. I watched his tall form walk smoothly away and up the driveway. The church was a house that had been converted into a church. It was quaint and welcoming. I almost changed my mind right there, thinking of Shaun and his red tie.

But I stayed right there.

No amount of handsomeness would lure me into the pews of a church.