One and Only

Chapter Twenty - Hopeless

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for Monday evening.

But I have to start at the beginning.

Mum and I met dad at the airport at 5pm. His hair was longer and his clothes were rumpled from sitting down for so long. I ran into his arms and kissed his spiky cheek. He gave me a book he'd bought and mum a new perfume. The whole drive home, I chatted enthusiastically. I hardly drew a breathe.

We were turning off the freeway when mum announced:

"Ruby has a boyfriend."

Dad turned around to look at me. "Really?"

"Yes," I blushed.

"Well, come on, tell me about him."

Mum couldn't resist. "He's 19 and he goes to night school. And church. And he's a long distance runner."

I giggled, remembering that text from all those weeks ago:

I am a long distance runner.

Shaun told me had no idea what to tell me that night. He had so wanted to make a good impression that he'd become nervous and sent me that silly text.

But as we pulled into the driveway I received another text.

My heart stopped. It was from Matt.

Time stood still. I could not take a breath. My head spun.

Something was dreadfully wrong.

I got out of the car. Mum and dad wandered inside. The sun had set and stars were beginning to twinkle down at me. I opened the message.

Shaun was in a car accident. At hospital now. In ICU. Unconcious.

My whole world stopped. My heart broke. My eyes burned with hot tears. Nothing could have prepared me for that impact of that news. It was like a horrible nightmare. But it was real. I wasn't dreaming.

Shaun was unconcious in an intensive care unit.

For one horrible moment it was as though I were dying more than Shaun was. I remembered every smile, every kind word, every touch.

And then I remembered the day he came into the school. So in love with me he could not keep his feelings quiet a moment longer. So hurt that I had rejected him. So willing to make a fool of himself just so I would know he loved me.

The tears streamed down my face. This couldn't be happening. It was impossible.

But it was. It was very possible. And it was happening.

My legs had turned to jelly, but I stumbled inside and collapsed in dad's arms.

"What's the matter?" He asked in alarm.

Mum stood beside me in shock. "Ruby?"

"Shaun is in hospital," I sobbed. "Unconcious."

A few hours later I was lying in my bed with tears dried to my face. Mum and dad had soothed me, made me hot chocolates and set up the DVD player in my room to distract me. I stopped crying at around 8pm, but after a few glasses of water and a fleeting thought of Shaun I burst into tears again.

I couldn't lose him. He was a part of me now. If he died, I would lose a part of myself.

When I thought of him it was the same image. His bruised and battered body lying on a hospital bed with a flurry of doctors and nurses rushing about him. Cords and tubes going everywhere. His breathing monitored by a machine.

My heart wrenched. It had to be a nightmare. It just had to be.

After mum and dad had gone to bed, I had another drink of water and blew my nose. My room was smothered in scrunched up tissues. My tissue box was almost empty.

At 3am I knelt beside my bed. It was my last resort, even though I knew it should have been my first. I wasn't used to praying. But I while I had so much to plea for, I had so much to be thankful for.

I thanked Him for Shaun. I was grateful for him and how he loved me. I was glad dad was home safely and that I had made new friends at school.

But I pleaded and begged and ached for Shaun to recover.

And I fell asleep on my knees, a tear frozen on my cheek, during my whispered cries for the life of Shaun.