One and Only

Chapter Twenty One - Beautiful

I woke up the next morning surrounded by tissues.

It was 10am and I had two messages. These I opened faster than lightning, my hopes soaring.

The first was from Jodi: Hey ur not at school today? U sick? :(

The other was from Matt: No changes in his condition.

I was too tired to cry. Slowly, I got up and wandered out of my room. Dad hugged me and made me a toasted cheese sandwich. Mum was at work. When I finished eating I had a shower and then binned all the tissues in my room.

And then I burst into tears.

I had never felt so depressed in all my life.

Dad reassured me that we didn't know whether he would live or die. I knew he was trying to be helpful, but that only made it worse.

When I wasn't praying, I was crying and checking my phone.

Somehow I knew God was listening. At times it was as though his arms were wrapped around me. And I knew that whether Shaun died or not, I would always love him, and I would always love God.

After lunch I was in my room reading. Dad came in.

"Your boyfriend's dad just called," he said.

I leapt off my bed. "And?"

Dad's expression showed no clues. "I'll drive you to the hospital. You can visit Shaun now."

I ran around my room, putting on lip balm and brushing my hair. When my shoes were on I grabbed my phone and ran out the door, pulling dad along with me.

"Come on, dad! These visiting hours are very limited," I told him.

He drove as fast as the speed limits would permit. I ran out of the car the moment he parked and he followed me into the hospital. In the elevator I jumped around nervously.

"Did he say anything about his condition?"

Dad shook his head. "He just thought you might want to see him."

Matt met us outside the elevator. He shook my hand. Then he turned around and introduced us to his ex-wife. She was so pretty and I realized Shaun had her eyes.

"Hello, I'm Ruby," I smiled at her.

She nodded. "I'm Melanie. Its nice to meet you. Shaun told me how you go to church with him."

My heart sank. "Yes. I do."

"He is really very much in love with you."

I turned away to hide the tears that formed. I knew he loved me. I knew he was the most wonderful person I'd ever met. But I also knew he was lying in a hospital bed unconscious.

Matt led us into the unit. When he pulled back the curtain my heart felt as though it was torn from my chest and I led out a huge sob that surprised everyone.

Shaun lay on his back with tubes up his nose and a needle in his arm. His handsome face had only a sprinkling of colour and a few days worth of stubble along the jaw. I took his hand and touched his hair, stroking it involuntarily. He looked like he was sleeping so peacefully, but I wanted him to wake up. I wanted him to meet my dad and relate the car crash to me. I wanted him to tell me I was worth worlds beyond number.

I wanted him to be okay.

The breathing monitor loomed beside my head, but I ignored it. Shaun, in my heart, was alive. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And I knew he felt the same.

If he died, he would die in my arms.

The parents left me alone with Shaun and drew the curtain. I sat on the chair by his bed and kept stroking his face.

"I love you, Shaun," I whispered. "I've been praying for you and I love you. I'll never leave you. Don't give up."

His hand felt so cold in mine. I kissed his fingers and began to cry, using his hand to wipe away my tears.

"Shaun," I whimpered. "If you die... will you save a spot for me in heaven?"

It took me a while to notice the thick bandage around his head. He'd had concussion.

"You won't die," I smiled at him, a tear resting on my lip. "I know you won't. You wouldn't leave me. Not now."

The nurse came in half an hour later and told me I had to leave. I started to cry and she patted my shoulder while I kissed Shaun's cheek.

Melanie, Matt and dad were in the cafe downstairs. When they saw me they all stood up. Dad gave me a hug.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

I nodded. "Yes."

Matt shook my hand. "I'll let you know how he gets on."

Melanie smiled at me. "I wouldn't worry, dear. He should be fine."

I gritted my teeth, not understanding how she could be so careless about her son. I had every right to worry about him. I loved him. I wanted him to live. I wanted him to be happy.

I was too upset to make it to school for the rest of the week. Matt texted me every day to let me know how Shaun was going.

Wednesday: No change.

Thursday: No change.

Friday: No change.

Saturday: Slight improvement.

Sunday: No change from yesterday.

On Sunday morning I prayed for an hour and then got ready for church. I would go to church with or without Shaun.

It was a cloudy day. Dad offered to drive me, but I wanted to walk. I remembered every little thing Shaun had ever said to me and smiled my way through the chapel doors. People greeted me with nods and smiles. I sat in the back row.

That day was my first attempt of singing the hymns. I thought my voice sounded horrible and off-key, but I sung anyway. For Shaun.

As I was walking home, I said a silent prayer.

I realized I had been selfish. I had wanted Shaun to live for me. So that I could be happy. But that day it changed. I wanted to Shaun to live for the sake of all those lives I knew he would touch. I wanted Shaun to live for his own sake.

When I arrived home, mum asked me to clean my room.

I was struggling with making my bed when I heard a soft noise.

I looked around, listening hard.

What on earth?

I tried to ignore it and continued pulling my sheets up and smoothing them out.

Then I heard it clearer.

Hallelujah.

It was my phone.

Matt never texted me in the middle of the day. It could be one of two things:

Good news. Or bad news.

I opened the message, my heart turning into a cyclone, sucking all the breath from my lungs. I sank onto my bed.

And opened the message.

From Shaun: Good morning beautiful.