GLITTERS | | seongjoong

11.

    Everything was so hard for Seonghwa. it was like his whole world had crushed down, everything he had built being destroyed, stomped on mercilessly.

    Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw them, the way they had looked at him with pure disgust and hatred in their eyes; the way every hits resonated through his ears, dirtying him a bit more each time. It's like he had died, emotionally at least.

    At this exact moment, alone in his bedroom— he had been checked out of the hospital a few days after, His mom having taken care of everything—, a part of him wished he had died physically as well, for the mental state he was in now was unbearable.

    Everything felt so gloomy; the usual glitters he would use had been thrown in the trashcan, all his posters had been torn out, his curtains close. He didn't want to be himself anymore, he wanted to run from his own self, from who he was; it was the first time in his whole life he had been scared and disgusted of who he was.

   Tears slowly ran on his pale face, ending their way on the soft blanket as he squeezed between his arms. He had locked himself inside his room ever since he had returned home, barely eating anything or even seeing the daylight. He was terrified, too scared to even take a step out, drained out of any confidence he had, he was just a corpse.

But sometimes, he thought of him.

He thought of Hongjoong. The Hongjoong who had saved his poor body, the one who had been there when he woke up, the one that held him.

He thought of how his eyes had eased his aching, how his voice had softened his stiff heart, how his arms had warmed him and kept him safe.

And in those moments, his tears stopped and a fuzzy feeling in his tummy took place, his world being colored again— before vanishing.

How was it possible for someone like Hongjoong to love a person like him?
He was loud, not the most intelligent person— at least in their society's point of view, average looking, and now destroyed. How could someone so beautiful, talented and clever have any feelings towards what was left of him?
Hell, he didn't even know if Hongjoong was on this boat!

But he loved him so much. so much it hurt to think of it, even more a few days after realizing it. It was a never ending cycle.

Until he heard his door burst down.

      "fucking finally! i thought you would never open it!" he heard a loud, too familiar voice whine.

     "maybe because that's like, i don't know, wrong? you're really insensitive yunho."

A sigh, presumably coming from mingi, reached his ears and he sunk even more in his bed, wishing for them to just leave and not bother him. He didn't want to be mean, and he really appreciated them, he just wanted to be left alone, forever.

But his best friends had decided otherwise.

"Hwa..?" silence.

"Seonghwa, answer me.."

"Leave me alone.." he grumbled again, hiding his frail body away from the source of light, and yunho who clearly was starting to get upset, sweet smile vanishing and instead letting a frown take place on his face.

But seonghwa really didn't want to get out, so he wouldn't, not under any circumstances.

"Get the fuck up before i drag you out of your dirty ass bed with my own bare hands, park seonghwa."

Maybe one circumstance.

The latter suddenly rolled out his bed, letting the biggest oof escape his mouth as he felt his body collide with the wooden floor. still enveloped in his blanket, he stared at the floor, not allowing himself to make eye contact with the obviously annoyed guy.