What I Wish Happened

Chapter Seventeen

"Nova, you've been through a lot you've been hurt a lot, so it's okay not to be okay. In fact, it would be highly unusual to not be okay." I nod knowing that her words are correct but each word grinds on me slightly. "Leo's coming home today!" I say it in a chippy manner to avoid any more questions about my mental state. "You're happy about that then because you said the last time you saw him he seemed different, has that changed?" I shake my head, he seems like he has a massive question to answer, seeing him in the hospital makes me sad. I push a fake smile through my teeth and look to my hands, drawing circles on my palm. "Nova, I've seen you for three weeks now, and I know you've been through quite a traumatic experience and another experience that no one should have to go through, but from what you have said, you have never had a brilliant mental state. From what I've learnt from our sessions, I think you have PTSD, but also uninvolved by the more recent events, I think you have anxiety and depression." I sigh and nod knows that it the truth.

I walk up to my large wooden front door and look through the window everyone is running around making preparations for Leo's return to the hospital, I click the door open and walk through, everyone's eyes become tense and quickly relax noticing it's only me, "Hi..." I say quietly and walk through to the kitchen where Mom is in full baker mode. She spins and sees me stood as I drop my bag on the counter top and look around at the large selection of food. "You didn't have to go so far out Mom." She smiles as she walks over and kisses me on my forehead. "I know, I wanted to." She smiles as she side-hugs me. River calls me over to help hang a banner, I walk over and climb the ladder to pin the banner to one of the beams overhead, as I step down Alexis walks over and smiles, I fake a smile back. "You okay?" I nod as I reply because I know if I open my mouth that will be even less believable than anything that I could ever do. "LeLe's getting out the car!" Kaci shouts as she runs over to me, I pick her up in my arms and squeeze her tightly in my arms, he knocks and I place Kaci back down on the floor and walk over to open it. He's got a big smile as he spots me, he walks towards me and pulls me into a tight squeeze, spinning me in a circle causing me to let out a genuine giggle. "Leo!" He places me back on the floor and caresses my face in his hands, pressing his lips to mine eagerly. I pull away as I become ever so aware of everyone's presence. Alexis giggles to herself slightly, Leo laughs off his embarrassment that becomes extremely obvious by his extremely red cheeks.

We walk around the house speaking to everyone who says 'we are happy you're both safe,' and then quite quickly comments on how 'cute' we are as a couple. I laugh at all the comments and ignore the rest of the conversations until Olivia walks over and asks to speak to Leo privately. When he returns he's expression has had quite the clear mood change, his previous chirpy demeanour quickly swapped to sad and withdrawn. He stands next to me and wraps his arm around my waist allowing my head to lean on his shoulder and take in his beautiful scent. "Nova, can I talk to you alone a minute." I lean almost falling out of his grip and nod smiling up at him, I loop my hand with his and lead us both upstairs into my room. He sits on the edge of my bed and looks over to me, I sit beside him and squeeze his hand in mine, he looks sadly forward almost refusing to look at me, he looks down at my hand in his and starts to rub circles using his thumb. "I am sorry..." I feel my eyebrows furrow as I look at him.

"I'm leaving, I'm going to London with Olivia and Kaci, for good." I feel my hands fall to my sides, I look towards Leo and the look on his face says everything, "When?" he looks down at his hands, refusing to look up at me, "In an hour." I stubble backwards as my legs become incapable to hold my own weight anymore, "You said you wouldn't leave me ever again, you said I would be Mrs Black." I stand up and walk away because right now I feel more heartbroken than I have ever felt. He chases after me and caresses my cheeks, "You will always be Mrs Black, but right now I need to be there for Kaci..." I huff and push his hands away from me.