Deeper Than the Knife

Chapter 18- Damn it France!

Why is it so cold?

We've been in Paris, France for about three days. And like always, I was freezing my ass off. I thought I was getting away from the cold. Damn it.

Yukino is getting discharged tomorrow, and Yarah starts school tomorrow. Yukino is set to start physical therapy next week and I really don't want to anywhere near her when that starts. Thanks but no thanks.

I was currently in the kitchen, eating pancakes with my daughter. I loved saying that, it fills me with so much joy.  I was reading a note from The Order, A.K.A it was a mission. I'm usually excited to have a mission, beats laying around doing nothing, but right now I am exhausted and not in the mood.

Ugh, this was a group one. I was to partner up with someone named Amber for this thing. We were to solve-I gotta solve shit now?-a series of murders happening around Paris. Great, now they want us to do all the work for them. All of the victims were black-one, the killer is probably racist as hell, wonderful. And Two, I'm going to be fucking bait aren't I?-and killed in alleyways. Remind me why people go into alleyways. Please. 

"Mama!" Yarah snapped me away from the stupid note. 

"What is it Yarah?" I asked putting the note into my pocket. 

"Can I call Rashida?" Yarah calls Rashida and Lucas everyday, it was the only way-besides letters-that they could communicate.

"Go ahead, just not too long. Mommy wants to see you today." I said taking a sip of my coffee. I miss Yukino's tea. Actually, I just miss Yukino in general.

"Thanks mama." Yarah left the table and ran over to the phone. I smiled at how happy Yarah was, it was a long ways off from that terrified look she had on the day of that fight. Guilt just loves me so much since it's always eating away at me whenever that cursed imagine that's engraved into my head of her crying pops its ugly head up. 

Granted there was another face that was engraved into my mind, that man's face. It's faint now, fading away, but he looks familiar. 

When we visited Yukino, she was throwing things at the nurses. I knew she'd be impatient like always.

"I'm getting out of this bed and I'm going home right now!" She yelled, throwing the blankets off.

"Calm down Mrs.-" Pleaded one of the nurses. Yukino didn't like being called 'Mrs.'. Poor nurses, I should probably help. Key word, 'should'.

"Yarah why don't we let mommy know we're here." I say. Hopefully Yarah could calm her down. 

"Okay," Yarah said. "But why is mommy so angry?"

I thought for a moment, honestly it could've been a million different reasons-some I wouldn't even know unless Yukino told me. "She's just impatient and wants to be able to hold you again." I decided on that. I'd probably be angry is I couldn't hold my daughter.

"Well that's silly!" Yarah protested. "She can still hold me! No matter what!" Oblivious Yarah didn't know the extent of what's going on or what's happened, but her optimism made all of this so much more easier.

I smiled, "then go give your mommy a big old hug." I let go of her hand and watched her run to Yukino. "Just be careful of her arm." I cautioned.

When Yukino saw Yarah running towards her, she dropped the T.V remote she was planning on throwing and opened her arms-as much as she could with the cast- for Yarah to run into.

I stood in the doorway, the nurses carefully cleaning up after Yukino's tantrum, watching my beautiful wife hug our precious and adorable daughter. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be lucky enough to be blessed with such an amazing family. I'd always been told by my mom and cousins that since I was the future head of the family-I'd have to marry a man and continue the lineage. No matter how progressive things seem to be, people always hold onto 'tradition' and take huge steps backwards instead of going forward. Sure my uncle was able to marry his husband, but he had terms and conditions to follow in order to do so. Arthur wasn't allowed to father-through surrogacy-any of their children, and he could never rule besides my uncle if uncle were to ever become head. And the chances of that ever happening were about 1%, grandmother made sure of that. 

I finally entered the room, and sat on the edge of Yukino's bed. Yukino had Yarah in her arms-I remember when we first meet Yarah, Yukino didn't want her to touch her, calling her an 'inferior life form'. Now she refused to let go of her. I guess people can change.

"How is your arm today?" I asked.

Yukino kissed the top of Yarah's head-I died of cuteness-and gave her the T.V remote. Yukino looked at me as Yarah flipped through the chancels, "I'm fine." Liar. "I just want to get out of here already." 

I moved closer to her, laying next to her-Yarah on the other side-on my side. I propped my head in my hand and looked at Yukino, who looked at me. "You'll be out of here tomorrow, for now you have to heal and get some rest."   

"I've been doing that!" Yukino groaned. "I want out of here Charlotte, I haven't even seen our new house."

"Apartment." I corrected mostly to annoy her. "There's no way we're getting a house here in Paris."

Yukino glared at me-I smirked in victory. "I've never said this before, but I want to go home. Our home."

I'll admit, I blushed a little (a lot). I'm pretty much floating on pure joy and happiness that Yukino feels safe with us. That she actually wants to be with us, to come home to us. It made my gay heart beat a little too fast.

"You'll be home soon, but you need to rest. Not just for your impatient self, but for me and Yarah. I don't want to see you in pain." I took her hand, tangling our fingers. 

I saw a faint blush on Yukino's face, she's still getting used to this-being a couple-so things like this, despite being so insignificant, was a small victory for her.

"Alright," she muttered looking away from me. "I'll try to be patient." 

The next day, Yarah took forever to pick her outfit out. She wanted to wear a kimono but most of the kids would be wearing western clothes. I told her to just wear what she wants, and to not let others dictate what she does. However, she couldn't pick which kimono she wants, so she made me pick. I picked out a pink kimono decorated with water lilies. She loved it. I'm a great mom. 

Yarah's class was huge, at least thirty kids were here. I missed being in Japan-even if we lived on a cold mountain-at least there she had a smaller class where she'd have a better learning opportunity.

Alejandro-he joined us in France despite major protest-joined us today. I still had my doubts about him, but he did do a good job with babysitting. And he'd given up about taking Yarah back into his custody, only saying that he just wants to be in her life and help keep her safe. No one better mistake him for my husband. I freaking swear.

Yarah's grip on my hand tightened, I looked down at her-I'm going to break my neck if I keep having to look down at people-she looked nervous.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" I asked.

"I miss Rashida and Lucas." She sounded so sad! My baby can't be sad!

I knelt down so I was eye-level with her, "I know you do," I brushed a piece of her hair out of her face. "But you're allowed to make new friends so you're not lonely, you aren't replacing your friends or betraying them. I promise."

She nodded slowly, she still looked uncertain. She gave me a hug that I never wanted to end, before going into the classroom full of kids.  

I went to the hospital to pick up my impatient wife-hehe, 'wife'-and bring her home. She was waiting impatiently, sitting on the edge of her bed. She had to be wheeled out in the wheelchair that was next to her. I already picked up her stuff yesterday. She sat in the chair, anxious to leave and I pushed her out of the hospital.

A car from The Order was waiting for us in front of the hospital. Yukino basically flung herself into the back seat, I just rolled my eyes as I got in after her.

When we got home Yukino went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She was clearly sending a sign that she didn't like the hospital food. I sat down on the couch, I had to head out on my stupid mission before Yarah got home from school. Yukino sat down next to me, a bowl of chips in her good arm.

"What's wrong with you?" Yukino asked, stuffing her face with chips. She looked so freaking cute, I wanted to kiss her. 

"I have a mission I really don't want to go on." I said stealing some of her chips.

"I'll go-"

"No."