In a family of overachievers, I was the golden child
Straight A's, honor roll, good at everything
Willing to do anything to make my parents happy
Even if it meant tearing myself apart to rebuild myself into someone they'd be proud of
My only sister was the pride and joy, a nurse in the making with jealous beauty and a kind nature
Then she left home, left school, for a country boy she didn't love
She was ashamed that she had a child growing inside of her, when she was barely nineteen
Even though she was gone, I felt her in that bedroom across from mine
A ghost made of pain lingers behind the forever closed door
It reminded me of the person she used to be, the person my parents wanted me to be
She never came back
My oldest brother was the family handyman, good with cars and art and anything in between
After our sister left, his world turned sour and he lost himself inside girls and cigarette smoke
He would sneak out each night and return with more scars than before
But he couldn't lie his way around the bags of weed the officer found in his nightstand
Now he pretends to love a whore who can never replace the woman he loved and lost to drugs
At least he's still around
My twin brother isn't really my twin, though we like to lie and say he is
We were born four months apart, which makes me the baby of the family
When his dad married my mom, it was enemy at first sight
He hates me, I know he does
He tells me so all the time
I was the favorite
He was the rebel
I drowned myself in school and music and stole pills to help me sleep
My brother cheated on anything he could get away with, but I helped him cheat
While he followed in our oldest brother's footsteps
I tried to hang myself from our shared shower curtain
Now that we're graduating, we try to get away from each other and the family
We somehow made it to the same place, yet so far apart from who we were before
How do four children begin as golden children and end up guilty, broken, selfish, and suicidal?
