I was never really religious
Growing up with catholic parents who had bad catholic experiences makes it tough to trust a system like that
Faith was a messy thing for me, something I would t touch with a ten foot pole
Then I found a holy place of my own, a church that had good intentions
But not because of the message, or even how they welcomed me like an old friend
No
It was you
Even if I didn't know it at the time, it had always been you
You were in the front row with your friends, shielded in a faith you didn't believe in
I sat in the back, quiet wondering what the hell I was doing there
We were in the same room, but worlds apart
We had the same friends, same interests, and the same stupid sense of humor
But we were from completely different galaxies
As hard as I tried to let my guard down, I never let anyone in
I was too caught up in my homemade spider webs, trapping myself in a tangle of my own thoughts
Cocooned my heart so I'll never get hurt, or be hurt, ever again
It took three years for us to become friends
How crazy is that?
We hung out, but not much
Not long enough for me to see you at midnight, when your eyes get sad and your dimples disappear
Or for you to get a phone call from me at one am, because I can't sleep and I need to distract myself
But as soon as that first "hello" left your lips, our fates were sealed
For you had cracked my shield of silence and let yourself in, and I'll never forgive you for it
Because I'm glad you did
You made a home inside my rib cage, making my heart beat faster just to keep up with yours
We would exchange glances, sharing secrets that only we could see
Telling inside jokes we never knew existed
Pouring out our hearts until there was enough room for each other
I held you and you held me, and it was home
That night, prom night, I saw your face under those neon lights
We broke the rules for the first time together, our hearts breaking out of our chest in synch
I felt alive, like I would float into the sky and never come down
When I saw your face, barely lit by our phone lights, with a cheshire grin and dimples for miles
Something changed
Whether it had been there all along, I wasn't sure, but after that I knew
It took three years for us to become friends, and just one night for me to fall in love
Because I caught you staring, and I hope you didn't see me staring back
Because everyone already assumes that we're dating
Because you have stupid hair and stupid eyes and stupid dimples that make me believe in love
Because the only thing that loosens the tight bolts that make my chest too tight is your arms around me, your face in my hair, your laugh on my skin
You are another reason I come home every other weekend
Just to see that stupidly beautiful smile of yours
So I promise I'll stand up on my toes, because we know how short I am, and hug a little tighter
I promise I'll never get bored of hanging out with you every other weekend
And I promise one day I'll read this to you
