A closing friend of mine drunk texted me one night
Calling me the best out of everyone he knew
He confused my kindness with honesty
But the harder I look the more I see what he means
I manage to find light in my own darkness
And hope in the most hopeless of people
I use my scars to heal open wounds
I crush my nightmares into words and weave stories with bleeding fingers
Just to help others sleep at night
I turn my nihilism into careless optimism
In hopes of giving someone faith in life
I'm not a good person, but I try to be
And in the process, I let happiness in
My friend mistook my optimism for happiness
But now I wonder if they're the same thing
