The Demon I Let Ruin Me

FOURTEEN

Edward

I watch as my brother Harry runs from the room and I chase after him. What the fuck did he just do?

"Harry!" I shout as he runs to his car. I know exactly what he's about to do. Tell McKayla what I just said. I shouldn't have said it. I didn't mean it. The guy I was talking to had been on the game since it started. Little did he know I was falling in love with her. Which is the dumbest thing I've ever done. I told myself I wouldn't let that happen. But it did. It fucking did.

I chase after him in my car and we both end up at her apartment where I'm suppose to met her anyways. I hope to god I get there before he tells her.
I burst through the door and hear my one voice say the words that I said just 10 minutes ago. Fuck. She's going to believe it. I already know it. I shouldn't have even done it in the first place. Maybe it's best if I just say it and get it over with and she can move on and be happy and not be upset and fucked up by me.

The day I said I loved her a month ago, I meant it. I tried my best to tell myself it wasn't true, that I believed my act too much. I even planned on fucking some other girl but I couldn't do it. I couldn't get myself to, even when I was drunk. We had sex a week after that and it was amazing. I couldn't compare it to anyone else. I tried to, I really did but she kept popping up in my head.

And now all of that is about to be fucked up by my stupid words. The look on her face shows me that i am right. I need to push her away. I have to. For her.
With every ounce of me I push myself to pretend that what I'm saying is true. I never loved her, it was all fake. It was a game because I was bored.
She stares at me as I speak like I just ripped her heart out and I pretty much have. I hate myself.

After my fight with Harry, him practically breaking my nose, I leave her apartment and go to my car. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I never wanted to take it this far. I should have ended this a month ago.

I stare, drunkenly at my phone hoping she texts me. I shouldn't hope for that but it's all I have left. Is hope. My eyes go from my phone to my drink. I sip the rest down and throw the glass at the wall.
My phone beeps and I look at it instantly. It's her. My heart pounds as I unlock my phone.
Congratulations. You won the game. I'm sitting here crying. I can't sleep. And you're probably having fun, drinking and laughing at my expense. I fucked Harry anyways. So maybe I'm not as hurt as you thought I was. And guess what. He's better than you can even imagine. He's bigger too. God, I can't believe you did this. But I'll get over you one day. But you'll always be the little boy who uses people to play games. So congratulations. You won.
I read the text over and over. I don't believe it. Did she really fuck my brother just to spite me? Would he really fuck her while she's upset? Jealousy courses through me as I read it for the 4th time. Harry is here. I'm going to kill him.

I set my phone down and drink that last gulp of alcohol in the bottle and go to his room. I switch on the light and grab him out of his bed.

"You fucked the wrong girl!" I shout as his eyes widen. He looks at me, trying to comprehend what's happening but I don't let him. My hand goes straight to his face and hit him a few times before my mum comes in and pulls me off of him. A long with Marcel.

"Edward! Stop! Stop!" She cries and release my grip from Edward as he closes his eyes.

"Keep your dick out of the people I love. You fuck." I growl before leaving the house, grabbing a fresh bottle of whiskey as I go. I know what I have to do. I have to go to her house and tell that I'm an idiot and that I'm sorry.
I get in my car and start my drive. I can't see straight but it's fine.
As I drive I stop at every damned red light and stop sign. Except one.

Black.
That's all I see. That's all I hear. A light flashes in front of me and try to push it away cause it's too damn bright but I can't.
"Time of death. 4:15 am." I hear a voice say. Wow. I'm not dead. Theres no way. I'm fine. It's just dark in here that's all.
I'm fine, I-